The Heartless Alpha's Beloved Luna Novel

---- Chapter 209 Avery's POV Startled by my wolf's voice in my mind, I could only stare as Gideon moved closer, his arms sliding around me gently. Part of my brain was tracking his movements, off-handedly wondering if he was going to try to kiss me. Normally I might have been thrilled by such a development. After all, I still had my suspicions that he was the man who had slept with me the last time I was here. But the other part of my brain was reeling from what my wolf had revealed. That she considered Gideon her mate-our mate. What did that mean? That she wanted Gideon?

That my wolf called to his and vice versa? Was she aware that I had already been marked by someone else? 2 Other than the initial pronouncement, "He is our mate," my wolf offered no further information. She went silent, despite my prodding for more information, but I could still feel her lurking. I felt shocked, and utterly distracted, as Gideon's body pressed up against mine. Was his wolf saying something similar, and that's why he was moving close? I tilted my head up, searching Gideon's face with my eyes. What was he thinking?

His eyes seemed slightly unfocused as his face bent towards mine. Was he really going to kiss me?? ---- Alarm bells were going off in my mind. I wanted to just enjoy this moment, to let Gideon's lips brush against mine and succumb to whatever this was. It even felt fitting after the last 24 hours of stress and worry and confessions. And yet I found I couldn't just close my eyes and let this moment happen. I still couldn' t believe it was happening! That Gideon really wanted me in that way. What did that mean for our relationship?

All his statements that this was just professional and that I shouldn't hope for more? Was he just feeling territorial after Reynaud had tried to take me from him? Was this some attempt to mark me as his? And what would happen to Dierdra if I allowed this to happen? Had Gideon finally started to believe what I had suspected ever since our wedding? That she was not actually his true mate? Even if he was starting to believe that, Dierdra was pregnant with his child! Was he now willing to abandon her anyways? How could I let that happen? How could I let this kiss happen?

All of these thoughts raced through my mind as he drew me to him and went to kiss me. Now I raised my hands between us and softly placed them on Gideon's chest, halting his forward motion. Words pooled in my mouth, as Gideon froze. I had so much I wanted to say. To explain. That I had deep respect for the skills he had shown me as Alpha. ---- That I didn't want to hurt him, or cause him pain. That my wolf wanted him. And yet I couldn't bring myself to speak. I felt so conflicted about revealing what my wolf had said.. and that he wouldn't believe me.

Would he think that I was just making up a story to try and bind him to me? No, it was better for this situation to never even happen. I could see Gideon's face flicker with emotions-surprise, hurt, sadness, and then he shuttered his expression and I could no longer sense his feelings at all. I felt my own heart sinking deeper into my chest as my own walls rose up around it. I wanted to badly to become Gideon's wife in deed as well as name. I wanted to know that he wanted me... but not like this. First I needed some real communication, about where we were headed, and what we each needed.

I just couldn't enter into no- man's territory so blindly. + "T can't," I gasped, leaning backwards out of his arms, "I'm sorry." Gideon released me, took a step back. Before he could ask me a question I wasn't ready to answer, I turned and hurried back up the garden path towards the Council Estate house. I felt so full of conflicting emotions that I wondered if I would fall apart before I even made it to my room. It felt as though there were so many competing forces warring in my chest.

The ---- part of me that wanted to be back down there in the garden, being kissed by the powerful Alpha I had agreed to serve... And then there was my true self. The conscientious wife and daughter who wasn't willing to compromise her honor just because some man showed interest. I had goals, very real goals, that I needed to accomplish no matter what.