The Heartless Alpha's Beloved Luna Novel

---- Chapter 130 Gideon's POV As Avery closed the door and left my room, Dierdra turned her beautiful face towards me with a smile, "Well now, that's done. Good riddance to her." | didn't say anything. | couldn't. The image of Avery on her knees, swearing to me that she was telling the truth, was seared behind my eyelids. | saw her there when | closed my eyes. | felt upset, but it wasn't the rage | had felt earlier, when | had been so sure she had been lying to me.

Now I felt a cold trickle in my blood, like the frozen gush of winter's thaw, when the glaciers sent icy rivulets through our forest. The sound of Avery's cries as she pleaded with me pierced my heart with shards of ice Dierdra stretched out on the bed, tugging at my hands for me to join her. Reluctantly | lay back, but | didn't take off my shoes. | didn't want to be here, | realized. | wanted to be out there, in the night, running with my wolf. | wanted to feel something that was clean and cold and not cloying like the heat in this room, or Dierdra's body as she pressed against me.

---- | didn't want to think. "Gideon," Dierdra pursed her lips together in the way she did when she was about to ask me for something, or when she was unhappy, "I would like you to touch me." | continued to stare up at the canopy of the bed. | didn't crave sex in this moment, though there were times when even | felt tempted by Dierdra's figure and feminine softness. While she gave every indication that she wanted more physicality from me, something stilled my hands when | touched her. Still, | rolled towards her and pressed my lips to hers as she opened her mouth to complain again.

Startled, she squeaked into my mouth and fluttered her eyes closed. "Mmm..." Dierdra moaned, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me into her, "yes, kiss me, Gideon." I closed my eyes, trying to let my body just exist here, to allow myself to enjoy this intimacy. Instead, it was Avery who swam before my mind. The way she had come to my room on our wedding night. The sweet way she had felt beneath me, and the tendemess of her lips against mine. | found myself remembering the way she had panted as | had kissed a trail towards her breasts...

"Oh yes," Dierdra crowed as she felt my body respond to my ---- thoughts of Avery, "that is what | want." She ran her hands down my body and unbuckled my pants, sliding her fingers along the V of my hips towards where the planes of my stomach dipped into my trousers. | closed my eyes, trying to focus on the here and now. This woman was my mate. | should want this. Dierdra made pleased noises as she attempted to pull me out of my pants, but her movements were clumsy and her fingers were unpleasantly cold against my skin. | caught her hands and opened my eyes.

Startled at being stopped, she stared at me in the dim lights of my room. "What?" she whined, "I want to please you." My eyes searched her face. She looked hungry, and eager, and that should have felt exciting. Instead, | found myself feeling repulsed. Why? | sought for something I could say to explain why this didn't feel right. How could | say that it was because thoughts of the Luna | had just punished were filling my head? That despite all that had gone wrong between us, it was still Avery who came to mind when pleasure filled me? ---- | couldn't say any of that.

Dierdra would be furious and rightly so. She would make a scene, the way she did when she didn't get her way. Furthermore, | couldn't allow her to tell anyone that the Alpha had rejected his true mate. It would be an incredible cruelty in the eyes of the pack, and an unconscionable breach of conduct. "1.." | scrambled for some excuse that would be acceptable, * Your leg. | don't want to hurt you." There, that was a good reason. The bruise on her thigh and hip was indeed massive, already purple in several spots where the wood of the stairs and landing had clearly impacted with force.