85 LYRIC Sunlightstreamedthroughthewindow,restingonmyface.
Istirredawakefromthediscomfort,turningawayfromthesunlightandyawning.
Myheadwasalittlelight.Ittookamomentlongerforthememorytofloodin.
Onlythistime…therewasnomemory.
Isleptpeacefullythroughthenight.
Hedidntcome.Nobodymadelovetome.
Lookingatthesideofthebed,Ifound thepillthere.
Ibrushedmyfingersintomyhair,completelydown.
ThedreamdidnthappenbecauseIdidnttakethepill.Didthismeanallthememoriestrulydidhappeninmydream?Noneofitwasphysical? ****** IwassodisorientedthatevenJacenoticedwhileI washavinglunchwithhim.
Doyouneedabiggerspoonto turnyourmealwith?Icould getonefromthekitchen,youknow?He taunted.
Irolledmyeyes,snappingoutofmythoughts.
Imserious,Ly.Forthepastoneminute,thatsallyouvebeendoingonthistable.Now,areyougonnatellmewhatthehelliswrong withyou? Ifinallytook abitefrommyfries.Itwastastelessonmytongue.
Icouldntblamemyselffornoteatingwhenmymindwasplaguedby thesesexdreams.

Itsfine,Imurmured.
He triedsomemoretogetitoutofme,buttherewasnowayIwas admittingtohim thatId beenhavingsexdreamsof amanwhodislikedme.Itwastooembarrassing.
Whenarewetellingthetruth about thekids?Heaskedawhilelaterwhenhesgivenupon tryingtogetmy problemsoutofme.
Herewego.Anotherproblem.
85 +25 Bonus IWejustneedtime.Istabbedthemushroomwithmyfork.
Time?Okay,howlongsweetie?Fivemoreyearstomatchthekidsage?Ormaybeweshouldwaituntiltheyreoflegalage.Thatllmakeitbetterwontit? Jace… Iunderstandthatyoulovethekids.Trustme,Icouldnevermeanharmtothosecutelittlethings.But weretalkingaboutdeceit,Lyric.Eventheyarebeingdeceivedintothinkingtheyrewiththeirfamily.Haveyouthoughtforoncethattheirrealfamilymightbeoutthere,mourningtheirloss?Martamustknowwheretheycome from.Wouldnt youwantthemtobereunitedwiththeirlovedones? Now,hedidhitasensitivespot.
Iverywellknewhowmuchithurttoloseachild.Thechildrensparentsmighthavebeenmourningtheirloss.Unless,they willinglygavethe twinsout.Butwemightneverknowifwedonttry.
IjustfeltreallybadforXylaandXylon.Their livescouldtakeadrasticturn.EvenJarismightneverforgiveMarta.Andworse,whatifhegrowstohatethekids?Thatmancouldbevery,unpredictable.
Youreright,Imurmured,staringdownatmyplate.Weshouldtellthetruth.
Secondspassed.
Goodness,Lyric.Areyoucrying? Iliftedmygazefrommyplate andrealizedIwas.Oh,whatiswrongwithme? Intheend,evenJacehadahardtimechoosingadatetorevealthetruth.Butweconcludedwed getitdonewithintheweek,atleast.
Afterlunchwithhim,Iwentformyappointment.
Iwas on adayoffatTCH whichwaswhyIhad theluxuryoftime.
Iwalkedinto Niviasroom andwaswarmlywelcomedby her.

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Nivia wasoneofthebestpsychologicaldoctors.Iwasneverreallyafanofhertype,butat this point,Ididnthaveachoice.IfearedIdlosemy mindifIdidntgettounderstandwhatwaswrong withme.
Sheofferedmesometeaandmademegiveherabriefhistory ofwhattheproblemwas.
85 +25Bonus Tellmeallaboutit,dear.How didyoumeet thisman? IstaredatthespacebetweenmylegsasIspoke.Fiveyearsago.Hetook careofmewhennooneelse did.Itwasjustonenight,asmiletuggedatmylips.ButitwasthebestnightIdeverhad.
Thememorywasstillveryfreshlikeithappenedyesterday.IstillthinkoftheverymomentJaris hadtakenoffhismaskandgetgoosebumps.AndthemagicalmomenthetookmineoffandcalledmePrincesswhenIdexpectedhimtomockme.
Buthehurtyou.Niviaprobed,hereyesstudyingme.Didnthe? AtearsliddownmycheekasInodded.Hefixedme,thenbrokeme.
Okay,darling.Keepgoing.Now,youtwo metagainandyouthinkyourestillinlovewithhim? TI Thequestionpromptedmetohesitateand reflect.WasIstillinlovewithJariswhenIsawhimagainafterfiveyears? Itriedtoremembermyreactionthefirstdaywemetathis Pack.Ofcourse,whatwasI saying?Idbeen in lovewith Jariseverysingledayforthepastfiveyears.
Iwatchedhislivesgrowinsideme.Ispenteverydaywishingandhopinghedfindme.Heneverdid.
Yes,Iwhimpered.Istilldo.Buthedoesntlovemeanymore.Hekeepshurtingme.
Nivianodded,scribblingdowninher book.
Andnow, Isniffled.Ikeephavingthesedreamsofhim.Theywouldnt stop.Idontevenknowwhattodoanymore.
Whatkindofdreams? InervouslyFiddledwithmyfingers.SSexdreams.
Niviatookdownmorenotes.
Iwakeup,feelinglikeitwasreal.LikeIcouldstillfeelhis touchonme.Idontknowwhatiswrongwithme.

Niviawassilentforawhileasshetookinmorenotein herbook.Whenshefinallylookedup atmeagain,shehadanopinion.
Darling,Ithinkyouretrulyobsessedwiththisman.Itstheonlyreasonyoudbehavingthesedreamsofhim.Haveyouconsideredtellinghimhowyoufeel? 3/4 85 +25Bonus Huh? ForthefirsttimesinceIwalkedin,Ilaughedgenuinely.
TellJarisDreadmoorhowIfelt?NotevenifIgettheinstructionfromthe Moongoddess herself.
Itsnotpossible.Ishookmyhead.Bothofus…wearealwaysatadisagreement.Ithinkwewerecursednevertobetogether.
*********** IfeltbetterbythetimeIleftNiviasplace.Shetriedto convincemeto openuptohimabouthowIfelt,butintheend,Irefused.TherewasnotellingwhatJariswoulddotomeifhegetstoknowIlikedhim.Ourissueswereprobablygoingtoescalate.
Shealsoadvisedmetofindadistractionso Icouldstopthinkingofhim.Sheadvisedmetohangoutwithfriends,seeamovie,readbooks.Justanythingtotakemymindoffit.
IthoughtIdgiveitatry.
Butwhennightcame andIwasalone inmyroom,Istaredatthepackofpillsinmyhand.
Maybethefirststeptohealingwouldbetoflushthesedownthetoilet.Butastrangepartofmecouldntbring myselfto doit.
HowcouldIletgoofthetiniestpartIhadorJaris?Thesepillsmightbeamystery,butatleast,theyhelpedmesatisfysomeofmyfantasies.Wouldntitbefoolishtojustletitgo? Besides,noneofitwasreal.IdneverdothisphysicallywithJaris.Itwasalladream.
Takingoneoutofthepack,Ipoppeditinmymouth,andlikethefirsttime,thesensationcame.Iwasatthebrinkofconsciousness,awareofmysurroundingsbutstillnotawareat thesametime.
Then,hecame.
Hetouchedmeandmadelovetomeinoneofthesweetestways.Mademefeelsogood.
HowcouldIeverstophavingthesedreamsofJaris Dreadmoor?