126 JARIS IwentnumbCouldntthinkstraight forafullminute.
Ididntevenknowwhichwasmoredevastatingtherealizationthattyncwasnevergongto ostanetesentfactthatsomeonelikeMartewasgoingtobemywide.
Itmademyheadache.
….AlphaJaris! IdidntrealizetheydbeencallingmeuntilLucatouchedmysem Itookadeepbreath,draggingmyselfbacktothepresent.
YoudonthavetodoitifyoudontwanttoLandonsaid.YoucouldjustfocusonLunaLydc,butondyberdswoldbeacknowledgedWhenshehasason,hellbecomeKingafteryou Ifthesituationpermittedit,Idhavefuckinglaughed, Thatwasthepoint,theydidntknownothing.TheyhadnoideathatLyriccouldntevenbemywife.Wehadastupidcontractbetweenuswhichwasonlygoingtolastforayear.Well,lessthanayearnow Fuck,Idalwaysknownthis.So,whythehellwasitseemingsopainfulnow! Inlessthantenmonths,LyricHarperwouldbe gonefrommylife.
Illnevergettoseehersmilesagain,hearherlaughter,orgetthesatisfactionIfeltwhenIseeherplayingwiththeKids Shedbegoneforgood.
Butthiswasthedeal.Itshouldntmeananything.
Icouldgetmarriedtosomeoneelse,someonemoredeservingthanMarta.ButXylonwasmyfirstson.Ididntwanthimgrowinguptofeelhurtandneglected.HedeservedtobeKingafterme.
XylaroodeservedtobefullyacknowledgedasdaughteroftheAlphaKingIdidntwantthemgrowingupwiththatsagofBornoutofwedlock.
WhatthehellwasIsupposedtodo? *****t LYRIC WhenIleftJaris,IwentaheadtomeetupwithJace.HewaswithKaelwhenIarrived,thetwoseemingtohaveapeaceful conversation.
ButJacecameovertomeetmeassoonashesawme.

ImlookingforElderMathias.Ididntseehimonstagetoday,Iwentstraighttothepointwhenwefinishedgreetingeachother.
Yeah,hedidntshowuptoday.Neitherdidhiswife, Iletoutafrustratedsigh.
Okay.Couldyougivemehisaddressorsomething? Lyric,whywontyoutellmewhattheproblemis?WhatdoyouhavewiththisPenelopewoman? Ibrushedmyfingers intomyhair,notknowingwhattosay.
NobodyknewIwaspregnantfiveyearsago.IfeltalittleembarrassedtoadmitittoJacerightnow.
Ijust…Imsorry,Icanttalkaboutitfor now.
Heinsisted,butwhenhesawthathecouldntgetitoutofme,heletitbe.Buthepromisedtosendmetheaddressassoonashegotitfromhisfather.
KaelandIleftforthecar together.WhilewaitingforJace,IputacallthroughtoJuanasIdmissedherowncallearlier.
ShewassoexcitedandkeptcongratulatingmeforJariswin.TheyallbelievedIwasgoingtobetheCapitalLuna.Howsad.
IendedthecallwhenIspottedJarisapproaching.Justlikethat,thebutterfliesreturnedintenfolds.
Helookedsohandsomeinthenavybluesuitthathuggedhisframe.
Foramoment,Ifeltluckybeingtheonebesidehim.

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MysmiledroppedwhenIknockedthemoodhewasin.Hedidntseemhappy.
Are…Areyoualright?Iinquiredwhenhegotclose.
1/2 126 Hedrewadeepbreathandlookedatme.Surprisingly,heheldmygazeforalongtime,asifsearchingforsomethinginmy eyes.
Illbefine,hemuttered.Weshouldgo.
Hegotintothecarbeforeme,notsparinganotherglancemyway.
Uncertaintytookrootdeepwithinme.Tonightwassupposedtobeahappyoneforus.Whywashesad?WhatdidtheElderstellhim? Justlikethenightofthefirsttrial,anotherpartywasbeingheldwhenwegotbacktoDarkspire.
ButeventhatwasnotenoughtobrightenJarismood.Icouldtellhewasonly forcinghimselftoenjoytheparty.
Lateratnight,whenthepartyhadendedandIwasaloneinmyroom,Istaredatthepillinonehand,andthepaintintheother.
TonightwasthenightIgottofindanswers.Toknowifmydreamwasrealornot.
Itookthe pillandtightenedmyhandwiththepaintintoafist,justbeforethesuddeneffecttookplace.
Everythingseemedtotwirlandspiralforme,butImanagedtogetonthebed.

Likealways,itfeltgoodalready.Mybodyhadalreadygottensousedtothisthatwheneverithappened,Iwaslookingforwardtomydreamman.
Myheavyeyelidswentclosed.
Ididntknowhowlongittook,butImoanedinresponse whenIfelthishandsonmylegs.
Hewashereagain.LikeeveryothernightwhenIneededhim.
Buttonightwasatest.
Hecrawleduptome,cuppedmycheeksandkissedme.Deeply.
Hm.TheJarisinmydreamwasbetterthantheoneIdlefttheCapitalwith.Thatonehadbeensadandquiettowardmeandeveryonearoundhim.Thisoneseemedhungryforme.Ilikedit.
Ireciprocatedthekiss,runningmyhanddownhis neck.Intheprocess,IdidwhatIhadinmind.Thepalmwiththepaintranagainstthebackofhisnape,coveringitwiththelightbluecolor.
HedidntnoticeandwontknowuntilImabletocheckinthemorning.Evenwhenheshowered,itwontcomeoff.
So,ifthiswas onlyadream,thepaintwontbetherebymorning.ButifIwasbeingtricked thiswholetimeandanyofthiswasreal,thenIdseeitwhenIcheck.