66 JARIS MymothercameinnotlongafterIgotintomybedroom.Iwasalmosttemptedtoorderhertoleave.Thiswomanhardlycamewithgoodnews.
Sheaskedcustomaryquestionslikehowmydaywentbeforedroppingtheunnervingreasonshewasthere.
Yoursisterranaway.
Iwastakingoffmyjacketandpausedwhenherwordsreachedme.
Buttheymanagedtofindher,sheadds,calmingmethehelldown.
ForMoonsake,shecouldnthavesaidthatsooner? Good,Imumbled,undoingmybuttonsnext.
Butshewantstocomehome,andtheasylumsthinkingofreleasingher.
Likethiscouldntgetanyworse.
Mother,please.Iwhirledaroundtofaceher.IhonestlycantdealwithMaddyrightnow.
Removeadandtheyformhernameandyoullhavemad.And itwasntevenaninsult.Shereallywasmad.
Iknow,Jaris.But- Thelastthing IneedrightnowisMaddyon myneck.Youknowhowitiswithbothofus.
Shenevershutsupaboutourbrother.Icantdealwithher.
Butshesbeenawayforsolong.Ivemissedher,Jaris.Iwantherhome.
Youcanvisitheranytime youwant.Theresnorestriction.
Iknow.Butitsnotlikehavingherhereathome.

IclosedmyeyesasIheldontothetableforsupport.Icouldntdothis.Iwassoclosetolosingmymind.
Maddyisntcominghome.WiththeAlphaKingtrialscomingup,thelasttimeIneedisherkindofdistraction.Youknowwhatshedoestomewhenshesaround.
Oh,Jaris…Shegrumbled.
Really,whatissohardtounderstand? Shesnotcominghome,Motheratleast,notnow.Ihavethingstodo.Please.
Iproceededtotakeoffmyjewelry.
Motherspentalittlemoretimeintheroom,silent.Thenshehuffedandleft.
Itookashowerandhadafewmorethingstocoverbeforeretiringtobed.Iwasinthe middleofworkwhenKaelshowedup,bringingmoreworktomytable.
Shesatthebar.Drunk.
Ididntevenneedtoasktoknowwhohewasreferringto.Anditwasexhaustingthat Iwasalreadysoaccustomedtotheone personthatwasapainintheass.
Forhowlongnow?IstareddownatthetableasIasked.
Sincewegotback.Sheleftherroomalmostimmediatelyandhadbeenthereeversince.
Igrowledlowinthethroat.Seriously,whatwasitwithheralwaysgettingdrunk? Istoodupwithagruntandinacoupleofminutes,Iwasattheentranceofthebar.
Theplacewasalittlefilledup.Itwasnight,andthis waswhenmostpeoplehadthetimetomakemerry.
ButLyricwasalone,asleeponthecounter.
Thelightchattersofthepeopledieddownthemomenttheysaw me.Theystoodupimmediately,somegoing on theirknees.
IstrodeuptoLyric,gettingaclearerviewofhelikeafuckingchild.

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her lipsslightlyopenanddrooling.Shelooked Successfullyunlocked! Ihuffed.ThisgirlhasbeenapestfromthemomentIsawher.
Kaelsteppedbeside me.Doyouwantmetocarryher?OrshouldIsimplywakeherup? Huh?WakeadrinkLyrictowalkonherowninfrontofallthesepeople?Itdbebeyondembarrassing.
1/3 66 Illdoit.Igroundmyteeth.
AsIgentlyliftedherheadfromthetableandpulledherbackwardtomyarms,Itoldmyselfiwasonlydoingthistocreateagood impression.Iwasntthe typethatgaveshit aboutpeoplesopinions,buttheseweremypeople.AlotofthemalreadythoughtIwaswrongforarrivinglatetothematingceremonysolatethatalltheguestshadleft,thinkingthe ceremony wasover MaybecarryingLyricinmyarmswouldplacatetheirthoughts.OrthatsjustwhatIwantedtobeliere, IglancedatherfaceasIcarriedherinbridalstyle.Herhairwasalloverherface,furthermakingherlookwasted.Shemumb
ledsomethingbutdidntevenopenhereyes.
Shelookedsoinnocent.Likeshedidmostofthetime.
Walkingoutofthebarwithher,myminddriftedtothefirstdayIdseenher.Shehadbeen standingrightnexttoherfather,havingthosedoeunsulliedeyeslikeshecouldnthurtaflyandwasafraidofgettinghurtinreturn.IcouldstillrememberhowshockedandnervousshelookedwhenIwalkedintotheroom,andthequickdisappointmentthatcrossedher facewhenIwalkedoutonthemwithoututteringaword.Shemustvebeenreallyhurt.
Butitwasjustliketheysaid:theinnocentonescouldbethemostdangerous.
Ireachedherroomandlaidherinbed.Icouldntbegintoimaginethehangovershedgetinthemorningfrombeingthis way.
Ibrushedsomemessyhairstrandsfromherface,myfingersgrazingherskin.Sheseemedtorelaxandmumblesomethingunderherbreath.
Shewasstillunconscious.Iwonderwhatmustbegoingthroughherhead.
HerhandgrippedthecollarofmyshirtwhenIdidntexpect.Herheadtiltedslightly,andthistime,whenshemurmured,icouldmakeoutthewords.Please,stay.
Mybrowsscrunchedupinsurprise.Could thishavesomethingtodowithPenelope?Whowasthatwoman,andwhatholddoesshehaveoverLyric? Youalwaysleave,sheslurredthewords.Youalwaysleave,Jaris.Shetuggedatthefabric,bringingmeclosertoherface.Mychestwasjustbarelyaninchfromherface.Whatinthemoonsnamewasshedoing? Moretomysurprise,sheburiedhernoseinmyshirt,moaningsoftly.
LyricHarper.Shewastalkingaboutme.Shecalledmyname.
Thisdidnothingtoeasemyconfusion.Whatdidshemeanbythatstatement? IpulledbacksoherfacewasfreeofmychestasIdidntwanthertosuffocateherselforsomething.However,sheonlymoanedfrom theloss.
Shesquirmedonthebed,tiltingherheadup.Shemurmuredmoreincoherent wordsunderherbreath.Itwastiring.

Itriedtopullawaybutherhandfoundmyshirtagain,pullingmebacktoher.
Damnit,Icursed.
AndIknewshewasnttheproblem.Shewasdrunkanddefenseless.IcouldeasilyescapehergripifIwanted.Yet,hereIwas,allowingmyselftobedraggedbyher.
Thisisntyou,Jaris,mysubconscioustoldme,tryingtowarnmethatIwasdoingsomethingstupid.
Ishouldpushmyselfawayfromher.Leavethisroomandgoaway.
Instead,Iwantedtotouchherface.Wantedtoburymyfingersinmyhairandinhalethatfuckingappleshampoofragrance.Iwantedto claimherlipsandfeelherbodyagainstmine.
Thisbody.
Thisveryonethathadbeengratingon mynerves.
ForthefirsttimeinaslongasIcouldremember,myheartbeataccelerated.Thiswasnotright.Nothingeverfazedme.
Yet,theprospectofbeingaloneinasemidarkroomwithLyricHarperwasenoughtotakemeoutofease.
Timemovedsluggishly.Herlipswereparted,beggingforaninvite.
Shesdrunk,Jaris,theevilsubconscioussaid.Shewontrememberanyofthesebymorning.
Itwasright.Andevenifitwasnt,eveniftherewasachancethatshecouldwakeupandrememberwhatIdidtoher,Ididntcareanymore.
Itsjustataste.
Icrashedmylipsonhers.