119 LYRIC Severalminutespassed.WhenIdidnthearawordfromJaris,Ihadtolookathimtobesurehewaseveninthe carwithme.
Hewas.He justlooked…distant.Angry.Whatwashethinkingabout? Thankyou,Isniffled,hopingtobringhimback.Ididbecausehelookedatme.Forhelpingwiththeboard.Although,Iremembertellingyounotto getinvolved.
Hegaveacoldshrug.Youstillgotsuspended.
Forthreeweeks!Ilaughed.MyvoicewashoarsesinceIdbeencrying.
Ilookedatthewindowagainandwipedmyface.
********** JARIS Ihadtogiveittothosemenwhowerepatientandcomposednomatterthesituationtheyfoundthemselves.Imean,theycouldbegoingthroughshitandstillspeakcalmlyto thepersonthatwaspissingthemoff, IvebeenwaitingforMartaforanhournowandalreadylostmymind.Inaddition,therewasabrokenvaseonthefloortoprovemyimpatience.
Ipickedupmyphoneandtriednottocrushit inmygraspasIcalledheragain.Fortunatelyforher,shepicked.
Jaris,Im- Ifyourenothereinthenexttenminutes,Ipromiseyou,itsgoingtogetalotmoremessy,Icutheroff,my ownvoicevibratingwithrage.
Iwastryingto sayImherealready! Thatcalmedmedownalittle.
Good.Idroppedthecall.

Aminutelater,shewasenteringintomyoffice.
IdidntcarethatIpulledherfromwork.WhenIcalledanhouragoandtoldhertogethere,shesensedhowfuriousIwas andtriedtoroundthingsupandcomeassoonasshecould.
Shelookedsoscaredasshemadeherwayin.Sheshouldbe.Shedeservedit.
Jaris,IknowLyriccanbeconvincing,butIpromise you,Ididntdoit.
Ihuffed.Sheactuallythoughtthiswas aboutthehospitalstuff?Shedidntknowit waswayworse.
Itriedtocontrolit.Ipromiseyou,Itriedtoput areinonmyemotion,butitdidntwork.Iwasontoherbeforeshecouldblink.
MyhandwrappedaroundherthroatasIshovedherbackuntilhershoulderbladesslammedagainstthewall.Shetriedtoscreambutitgotstuckinherthroat.
Jaris!Shestruggledtopronouncemyname.
IwassofuckingpissedIcouldntthinkclearly.AllIcouldseewereimagesofLyrickissingZarek,begginghimtotouchher,beingsohungryforhistouch.Andthewholetime,Martafucking Monroewasbehindit.ShewantedmetohateLyric.Iknowshedalwaysbeenadesperatebitch,butgoingthatfar?TheassholeZarekcouldvefuckedherifhewanted.Hecouldvehadhisway withmymate! Iwatchedherfaceasshebegantochoke.Shetriedtogetsomewordsout,probablytotryandbegme,butIdidntlether.Ididntwantto hearwhatshehadtosay.
Howdareyou?Igritted.Howdareyoutakeitthisfar? Shecouldntaskquestionsifshewantedto.Iwatchedasherfacestartedturningpurple.

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YouknewwhoZarekwasto me,Itightenedmyhold.YouknewhowmuchIhatedhim.Yet,youconnivedwithhimtosleepwithLyric.Howfuckingdareyou,Marta? ItwasonlywhenIsawhereyesrollinginthatIreleasedher.AsmuchasIdlovetochokethelifeoutofher,Ineededherconsciousforthemoment.
Shedroppedtothefloorandcoughedsohard,herhandholdingherchestlikeitcouldhelp.
Ilether catchherbreathforsomesecondsbeforeIwasonheragain,yankingherhair.
Jaris,please!Shecried out,tearsstreakingdownhercheeks.
1/2 119 Ifyouwantmetostop,thenyoubetterstarttalking,Marta.Else,Iswearbythesky,Illkillyouhereandnow.
Please… Whydidyou dothattoLyric?! Imsorry… Howcouldyoufuckingdoit?! Herbodywrackedwithsobs,tearsflowingprofusely.
Ilethergowithashoveandpacedtheroom,brushingmyfingersintomyhair.
Damnit, ImightreallykillherifIdidntcontrolmyself.
IspentweekshatingLyricforsomethingMartaorchestrated.Thepoorgirldidntevenknowwhatshedidwrong.ShedidntevenknowwhyIwassocoldtowardher.
HowdidIeverendupwithyou?Ishookmyhead,rubbingmythumbsagainstbothsidesofmytemple.HowdidIevergettangledwithabitchlikeyou,MartaMonroe? Hersobsgrewheavier.

Ofcourse,Iremembered.Thewitchhadalwaysbeenlikeacatstalkingamouseintheshadows.Wemetinhighschool.Sheseemedlikeaprettynicegirlthen.So,Ikeptherasafriend.
No,shemadesureshewasmyfriend.
EvenwhenIflewoutof thecountryto attendcollege,shemadesuretofollowmeandendedupinthesameschoolasme.ShewasafuckingpestIcouldntgetridof,andnowherewewere.Iwasstuckwithher! Jaris,pleasedontsaythis,shewhimperedlikeshewashurtbymywordsorsomething.
Ifonlyshe knewIwantedher tobemorethanhurt.
Iwentcloser,droppingtoacrouchbeforeher.WhydidyoudothattoLyric?Myvoicewascalmer,likeIwasgenuinelytryingtounderstandher.Howcouldyouconnivewithmyenemy torapeher?Howcouldyoubesoshameless?Well,shewasashamedrightnow.Shecouldntevenholdmygazeasshewhimperedonthefloor.
Imsosorry.IIdidntmeanto.Anotherapology.
Ithurtthatshedidnteventrytodenyit.So,itwastrue.Shedid it.
My heartbrokeatthepainfulrealitythatthisverywomanwasthemotherofmykids.
Youreallywanttoapologize,dontyou?Istraightenedandwalkedbacktomytable,pickingupmyphone.
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