Stalked by my Professor Novel

Chapter 69 This is a bad idea. This is a really, really bad idea. In fact, this might be the worst idea I've ever had...and damn, I've had some doozies over the years. It's a clear night, which is great, but the moon lighting my way also makes me feel oh-so-fucking exposed as I scale the side of Kai's frat house, trying to get to his window without plummeting to my death. My worn-out sneakers have zero grip, which is probably why I've nearly died five times attempting this ridiculous stunt of mine. Find the newest release on Find[ɴ]ovel.net But I've got motherfucking summit fever.

My foot slips, and I almost lose my grip when my entire weight is suddenly relying on the teeny tiny grip my fingertips have on a window ledge. I haul myself up-more through sheer force of will than upper body strength-wincing when a wild kick has my injured foot connecting with the window ledge. I got to my new job on time this morning...but Milo wasn't there. And neither was his food truck. I kind of thought Milo left the truck in the parking lot at night, but I guess that isn't the case. I tried calling Milo on Bastian's phone, but he never answered.

When I went to the liquor store to find out where he was, the guy behind the register told me it was his first week, so he had no idea. After hanging out for an hour, I got back in Bastian's Land Rover and drove off. I should have been grateful. Milo couldn't blame me for not showing, and I didn't have to limp around with a sore foot the whole day. Instead, I was pissed. I was counting on this job so I could tell Bastian to go fuck himself again, because damn it feels good.

I went to the diner, hoping Teagan might know if he was sick or something, but apparently she was out of town for a few days with her folks. I sent her a message anyway, but she left me on read. Melissa would say I was being dramatic, but honestly it felt like the universe was conspiring against me. I spent the day driving around Agony Hollow, somehow talking myself out of getting on the highway and never looking back. I ended up at Lookout Point more out of habit than anything else. But no matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to fall asleep in Bastian's Land Rover.

I just couldn't get comfortable. Dad's junker at least had pillows and blankets and shit. I could have gone back to GAZ. Not sure where I would have slept since my slashed-up bed wasn't an option, but Melissa would have come up with a plan. But that's not where I wanted to be. Not who I wanted to be with. I collapse on Kai's dorm room carpet with a groan of relief. I wait for him to demand to know why I'm climbing through his window, but there's only silence. Because he's not here. My heart flutters in my chest, and not in a cutesy way. Where is he? Is he with another girl?

I snort at myself as I get to my feet, dusting off Melissa's overalls. Seriously, now I'm jealous? Of Kai? I'm glad he's not here. Means I can get some undisturbed sleep. I root through his closet to find something to wear, finding his toiletry caddy at the same time. There's a toothbrush in there and everything. I slip out of his room to use the bathroom. It's nearly ten, so I'm pretty sure most of the other guys are asleep or out partying.

I hear music coming from downstairs, but it's not all that loud so I try to stay as quiet as possible, not daring to turn on the lights, relying solely on my exceptional night vision and the moonlight coming in the window to hobble my way around. I'm almost done when I step forward to rinse out my mouth at the basin and slam my little toe against the edge of the vanity. "Ow, fuck!" I yelp, clapping my hand over my mouth. That'll teach me. Kai's still not in his bed by the time I get back, but I don't let that stop me from snuggling under the covers.

I was hoping I'd fall straight asleep, but the smell on his pillows is distracting as fuck. I try to turn them over, but that doesn't help. I don't remember him smelling this good. Not the last time I was here, not when we were kids. Then again, I think both of us reeked when we were kids. My dad never made sure I bathed. If it weren't for the creek, I doubt my five-year-old self would ever have been clean. As I'm drifting off, I hear the bedroom door open. My eyes pop open, fixing on Kai as I try to think of how to announce myself. Something's wrong. He's not walking normally.

His tall, muscled body leans to one side as he half-sidles, half-staggers into the room. Is he drunk? Boy, oh boy, the level of regret I'm experiencing right now... Please God, let him go to the bathroom first. That'll give me a chance to slip back out the window. But no. Kai just starts tugging off his clothes, only pausing when he loses his balance and has to steady himself against the closet. Then I guess he decides he's not going to risk face-planting, so he stumbles over to the bed and perches on the edge as he pulls off his shirt and shoes and socks.

Despite the low light in the room, I can see a big band-aid on his shoulder that I'm pretty sure wasn't there this morning when I left him on the sidewalk. He used to get cuts and scrapes on him all the time back when we were kids. Bruises too. Most came from Ezra. The rest were a direct result of boys being boys. But he's a little too old to be getting scraped up climbing trees. Like how I'm too old to be climbing in windows. Kai falls onto his back with a dramatic groan, back of his hand on his forehead, the other slapping down onto his bare stomach.

The smell of weed and booze rolls off him in a suffocating wave, entirely masking the smell wafting from his pillows. He still hasn't noticed me. I'm about to say something when he groans again and slides a hand behind his boxers. I assume he's adjusting his junk, but then his hand moves around behind the fabric in a very methodical way. Oh. Okay. So this is happening. I'll tell him I slept through it all. That I didn't even wake up when he got here. He's so drunk, I could probably tell him I arrived at dawn and he'd believe me.

As long as I don't move⁠- Why is my hand inching down the football jersey I found in his closet? I couldn't help myself-these things make excellent pajamas. Soft, silky, breathable. Kai is making soft noises. Not quite a moan, barely a whimper. My hand slips behind my underwear. I have to bite back a whimper of my own when I touch my tingling clit. Oh, fuck, that feels good. I slide my hand lower, dipping a finger inside myself, using that wetness to lube up my clit. Ever so fucking slowly, I roll onto my back so I can spread my legs and get a better angle.

All the while keeping an eye on Kai, wishing he'd take his cock out of his boxers so I can actually see what he's doing. My eyes flicker. This is usually when I'll close my eyes and lose myself to some or other fantasy. But I keep them open to watch Kai as he slowly strokes himself. Breath trapped in my lungs, surviving on little gasps of air as I get closer to coming, I gradually realize Kai's murmuring something. At first I think it's "Fuck, yeah," over and over again, like he's enjoying getting off as much as I am. But as my chest closes up, it's sounding more like, "Fuck you." Fuck me?

If not me...then fuck who? I almost lose it as my hand stutters to a stop, but then Kai pulls his dick out of his boxers. I barely stop a moan shuddering out of me before my hand speeds up. "Fuck you." Yeah, fuck me, Kai. Fuck me hard like you did in the cabin. Fuck me rough and good and⁠- Oh, God. I'm going to hell in a fucking hand basket. My body trembles, muscles locking up as I come. It takes every morsel of self-control I have not to jerk around like I'm having a fit as a deliciously slow, deep orgasm rolls through me.

"Fuck you." I smile, eyes blissfully closed as I hear Kai fapping away next to me. Damn, that was good. My eyes flicker open when I hear him groan, but instead of seeing him come, I watch him shove his dick back into his boxers, roll away from me, and slowly sit up on the edge of the bed. I prop myself on my elbow and I tug my hair out of its ponytail, slipping the hairband over my wrist so I don't lose it. Smiling, I reach for his shoulder. I wonder how high he's going to jump when I touch him?

I hope he squeals like a girl, then I can lord it over him every time he⁠- Kai's shoulders jolt once, almost like he's coughing. Then a raw, broken sob rips out of him. I pull my hand back, fingers curling into a tight fist against my breastbone. What the fuck? Another sob, this one more harrowing than the first. Jesus, it sounds like he's dying. Kai's back bows, his head falling into his hands, elbows on his knees. It muffles his sobs, but seems to intensify the shaking in his body. I cringe away, horrified that I'm still skulking in the dark, witnessing such a private moment.

Every sob is an emotional gut punch. Soon, my eyes are brimming with secondhand despair. I don't dare move. Don't dare announce that I'm here. What the hell was I thinking? I want to scream at myself for just sitting next to him while he crumbles into pieces. What the hell was I thinking? I jerked off to my best friend while he was shattering. Who does that? Ten, maybe fifteen minutes later, those awful sounds taper off. Kai sniffs, drags his hand over his face, and slowly collapses onto his side. Slowly, with his back to me, he curls into a fetal position, shudders, and passes out.

I want to go. Desperately so. But I can't leave him after what I just saw. I don't know what the fuck he's going through, and he might not know I'm here, but maybe...maybe there is. Like how I always knew when he'd follow me home from school. The first few times it happened, it made me mad he thought I couldn't look after myself. But the shortest route home was also the dodgiest, and more than once I regretted turning down that alley between the factories. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't still be around if Kai hadn't made sure I got home safe. So I'm staying. Watching.

Making sure he's safe, just how he made sure I was safe. I'm so tired, so drained, that it only takes a few minutes of listening to his slow, steady breathing before I slip away into sleep. The sun is shining and birds are tweeting happily outside when an arm slides around my waist and drags me across the bed until I'm nestled against Kai's warm, hard body. "When did you get here?" Kai rasps in my ear. My eyes flutter open to take in the warm light suffusing his room. "Not long ago," I lie. "How'd you get in?" "Through the window." "You what?" Kai chuckles-throaty and warm-into my ear.

"You could have broken your neck, Heavenly." It's such a fucking wholesome sound compared to those I've recently been subjected to. Bastian whispering filth. Kai growling about what a slut I am. That sound feels like the first few splashes of rain in a desert. The promise of new growth, life, a fucking future. I push out my ass, snuggling my shoulders against Kai's chest. He slides an arm under my head, using the other to mold my hip against his.

He must have gotten up to go to the bathroom and spotted me then, because his breath smells like mouthwash, and the stubble under his bottom lip is a little damp as he kisses his way down the side of my neck. "Remember when we made up stories about going to live at the beach?" I whisper, eyes fluttering closed when he gently scrapes his teeth over the back of my neck, sending a wave of goosebumps chasing down my spine. "'Course. Remember the RV we said we'd buy?" I hold up a finger.

"Steal." "Klepto." He chuckles again, grabbing my hand, dragging it down between us, forcing me to touch myself. "We were just dumb kids," I murmur, letting Kai manipulate my hand so I'm massaging gentle circles over my clit. "Never dumb. Just naive little shits." He grinds against my ass, his cock so hard it feels like a flashlight. "We should do it." I scoff. "Steal an RV?" "Go to the beach." "Like a vacation?" I reach behind me with my free hand, burrowing between us for his dick, gripping it tight enough to feel his blood pulsing through the shaft.

His lips touch the edge of my jaw, the side of my mouth. "I mean, like forever," he murmurs. "Please," I say through a dry chuckle. "Like you'd give up your posh life to slum it in a van." His body tenses against mine. A heartbeat, no longer. Then he relaxes and makes a sound that could have been a chuckle, if it weren't so resigned. "Yeah. Who'd want to give this up?" I desperately want to tell him I was here when he had his breakdown last night. Because then I could ask him what's wrong and we could hash it out. But I know Kai. First, he'd be embarrassed. Then he'd get angry.

Best-case scenario, he'll throw me out. Worst case...he won't talk to me until he's forgiven me. That took three years last time. I can't risk losing him again. Not after I've seen the cracks in him. Deep, bleeding cracks that look so much like mine. I need Kai. And I think he needs me too. It feels like it, the way he's holding me, molding against my back, ready to claim me again. But honestly, I don't give a fuck if he doesn't. I'm selfish enough that I don't care one way or the other. I need him. Not just his warm body. Or his big hands on mine. The hard cock nudging the back of my thigh.

I need the boy who so quickly became my first and only friend. My best friend. And I desperately need the man that boy turned into. Someone who will be there for me when I fall. Because I always fall. Fall, and shatter. If Kai's not there to pick up the pieces...I won't survive. If I'm not there when he breaks, maybe he won't survive either. This isn't love. It's survival. We're both trapped in an ocean of trauma, destined to go under, unless we find something to hold on to. I found Kai. And I'd rather drag him down with me than drown alone.