Stalked by my Professor Novel

Chapter 29 I should feel trapped here. Turns out I like the way this cage feels. The press of bodies around me has desensitized my body. The music has drowned out my thoughts. And the booze is numbing all the awful memories and thoughts floating around in my head. Should have started partying a long time ago. I totally get the appeal now. I ruined my glittery pink nail polish. Apparently, it takes three to five business days to dry. But the lighting is dim, and there's enough booze flowing that I doubt anyone's going to notice. Totally wish I'd had another shower though.

I put on some deodorant before we walked over here, but I swear I can still smell Bastian's body wash. I can also still smell him, but it's got to be someone in the crowd who wears the same cologne or something. Not that any of the guys in this place could pull off that scent-the one that makes me think of leather-bound books and warm, spicy tea. Melissa loaned me a shimmery pink cocktail dress for the party. It's tight around the hips, and the shortest thing I've ever worn in public, but I feel like a goddess as I sway my hips on the dance floor. Could be the tequila.

Melissa keeps dragging me off to Gamma Gamma Gamma's kitchen for another shot, and I'm so happy to finally have my mind back to myself that I keep following her. The alcohol's playing tricks with my mind, though. I keep catching people staring at me. At first I thought I was dancing weird, but they're not looking at my body, they're looking at me. Fuck 'em. Players gonna play. Hater's gonna hate. I keep seeing Professor Rooke, too, but always out of the corner of my eye.

I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining the cute guy who keeps checking me out from the fringes of the makeshift dance floor in the sorority's living room. When he's not checking his phone, of course, just like every other kid in this place. I left mine at home. Why bother bringing it when I'm too scared to turn it back on? My suspicion about the cute guy is confirmed when Melissa taps my shoulder and leans in to speak to me. "You into him?" I shrug. Not being coy, but because I genuinely don't even know what's going on in my head right now.

She tips back her head to laugh, and then grabs my wrist, tugging me through the throng of bodies. Toward the kitchen, I'm assuming. Until she detours. Right to him. My palms begin to sweat, and all I can think about is if I look normal, or like a total dweeb. He's all in black, no designer labels in sight. Dark hair a little messy. Not deliberately, but like he hasn't bothered to do more than run his fingers through it since he woke up. It's refreshing seeing someone who isn't obsessed with their appearance. Even if he does spend a lot of time on his phone.

"My friend thinks you're cute!" Melissa says, yelling over the music. "You want to dance with her?" The guy gives her a small smirk, then glances at me and shakes his head. His mouth moves, but I can't hear what he's saying over the loud music. He gently grabs my elbow, leaning in until he's closer to my ear. "I don't dance." Melissa has super-hearing, obviously. She glances at me, an evil smile on her mouth, then yells, "You wanna make out with her?" "Melissa!" I poke my elbow into her side, and try desperately not to die of mortification. He's grinning when he glances at me again.

I wipe my palms on the shimmery fabric clinging to my sides and try a smile that comes out more like a panicked squirm. "You two can figure it out," she says, waving her hands like a magician. I hear her mutter, "Hopefully," just before she slips back into the crowd. I give the guy a weird wave. Rock on, Haven. He cocks his head toward the sorority's back door. Most of the houses on this row seem set up the same way. A massive, open-plan living-dining area with a sectioned-off kitchen. Huge backyard with a lawn and seating.

Even though it's drizzling outside, and has been most of the day, there's a bunch of college kids in the pool, splashing around on floaties shaped like avocados and flamingos. It's only when the crisp air hits me that I realize how drunk I am. As in, I can barely keep my balance. Maybe all those people in there were propping me up. The guy leads me to an empty spot by the railing, and I rush closer to lean against it, thankful for the extra support. It's like I'm looking through a pair of dirty sunglasses. Whatever I focus on is clear, everything else a blur.

When I look at the swimming pool, I can make out the kids splashing around inside, but everything else is foggy and washed out. "Having fun?" the guy asks. My eyes drift to him, and I have to blink before he comes into focus. He slips out his phone, scans the screen, and then puts it back in his pocket. "Yeah. I mean...sure." Because one is completely different from the other, Haven. "Blake," he says, holding out his hand. I shake his hand. Try not to dwell on how clammy my palm is compared to his. "Haven." "Yeah, I know." He's still holding my hand.

I'd have to yank really hard to get it free. But I don't want to. It's warm, and strong, and he doesn't seem to mind that I'm sweating. "You...know?" "Word gets around." He shrugs when my face just scrunches up even more with confusion. "That shit Ezra pulled last night was brutal. Sorry you got caught up in that." "Oh." Of course he knows. Everyone knows. That's why they were staring. My days of being invisible are over, and in the worst fucking way possible. His grip loosens enough that I can pull my hand out of his, and my fingers immediately go to my throat.

Melissa slapped a shit ton of concealer over the bruises, but I know they're there. And from the way this guy stares at my neck, he probably knows they are, too. "News gets stale fast around here. It'll blow over now that the cops are involved. People are already taking down their videos. In a few weeks, they'll have moved on to someone else." Videos? Police? "Cops?" Nothing can rip through my flimsy facade as quickly as the law can. Hence why I've been doing my utmost best to not get so much as a fucking parking ticket.

But I've gotten sloppy after starting at AHC, thinking I'm untouchable now that I'm a student. Blake shrugs, taking a sip from his red solo cup as he turns to watch the people in the pool. "Just one cop, really. Nosy fucker though." His brow furrows. "I get it's his job, but seriously, dude needs to chill. It's not like Ezra's pressing charges." Pressing charges...against me? No, I obviously heard wrong. He means I'm not pressing charges. Wait...should I be pressing charges? The thought alone makes all the blood drain from my face. I couldn't do that. It's...Ezra.

Blake takes out his phone again. "Pic?" "Huh?" He turns so we're both facing the same way, ducking his head a little so we're almost at eye level, and takes a photo with his phone. Forever capturing my idiotic, puzzled frown, my frizzy hair, the mascara smudged at the corner of one eye. Wow. I look drunker than I feel. Original content can be found at findnovel.net "Wait...Ezra's pressing charges? Against me?" The last is an incredulous squeak. Blake chuckles as he turns to lean on the railing with his arms. "I said he wasn't pressing charges." I grab the railing.

"But I didn't do anything!" He glances up at me with a frown. "I meant Kai. He's not pressing charges against Kai." My mouth opens, and stays that way, because now I'm trying really hard to remember what the hell happened at the party. "Who knows what'll happen when he wakes up, right? No love lost between those two, that's for sure. Ezra's such a spiteful fuck, he might decide to make Kai's life more of a living hell." Ezra's in hospital? How did I not know this?

Then again, Melissa's been avoiding talking about the Rain Dance all day, even shooting the other sorority sisters a death glare if they went anywhere near the topic. It's radio silence at the GAZ house, and it's not like anyone else is going to tell me anything. "What's your handle? I'll tag you in the pic." Blake's thumbs blur as he taps away on his screen. Is he even speaking English? All I could afford the past few years were cheap burner phones, and my only true friend stopped communicating with me when I was sixteen. To say I'm out of the tech loop is putting it mildly.

I obviously underestimated my ability to pass as a normal college girl. By a long shot. "It's cool. Don't stress," he says. Guess my panic is starting to show. He stares down at his phone again. "I'm at @margincallmemaybe. Hit me up in the comments." "Sure," I mumble, wishing he'd take his phone and his incomprehensible conversation with him and just leave. He smiles, takes another sip of his drink, and then looks down at his phone. Laughs. Fucking rude.

"So, uh, which classes you taking this semester?" I mumble out, because fuck it if I'm just going to stand here like an idiot while he scrolls through his phone. "Oh, uh, yeah. Some," he mumbles, because he's not even listening. "Never mind," I mutter, shaking my head. Asshole. He looks up, rolls his lips together in a miserable attempt at an apology. "Sorry, man, I gotta bounce. Nice meeting you, though." And then he's gone. Because I don't just suck at making friends, I'm actively bad at it.

I turn to stare into the garden, wishing the rain would turn into hail and demolish everything in sight. The pool, the pool house, the neat hedges, the fucking roses. I can't believe someone put videos of me online. Where would I even find something like that? Would I even want to see? When did my college journey include being victimized by not just one bully, but two? There's something wrong with the Jordans. I mean, Kai, I get. Kinda. But Ezra? I barely ever saw him. And the few times I did, he acted like I was Kai's imaginary friend. Was my friendship with Kai was ever real?

Because it sure as hell feels like I made a lot of that shit up. Especially the good bits, where we'd make each other laugh. It's bad enough Ezra's bullying got caught on camera and now there's some video circulating around out there with my face on it...but what the hell am I going to do about the cops being involved? Why would they even care about a stupid prank? Unless that's not what they're⁠- "Look what the cat coughed up." My body locks at the sound of Kai's voice. Fuck. As if my night hadn't already taken a turn for the worse.

I slowly turn, my hands gripping the railing on either side of me as I face off with the guy who used to get a kick out of tying me to a tree and seeing how hard I'd struggle before begging him to cut me loose. The fact that I got a kick out of it is no one's fucking business but mine. ...the dark in you craves the dark in me... "You're following me now?" My voice is hard, my jaw clenching with annoyance. Kai looks away as he lets out a dismissive laugh. "News flash-the earth doesn't revolve around you, Heavenly." "Really?

Because it feels like you're stuck in my fucking orbit." I try to push past him, but he sidesteps, blocking me. Then he grabs the railing on either side of me, making sure I can't go anywhere. "Seriously?" I tip my head back so I can glare up at him. "I thought you preferred assaulting me in private." There's a flicker in his eye, a tightening around his mouth, but then he's grinning widely, forcibly. Fucking maniacally.

"If you don't think we're even after the shit you pulled this morning, then you need to get your fucking psycho head examined." His smile crystalizes as he leans back a little. He presses his fingertips to his chest as he makes big eyes at me. "But don't take my word for it. There's a cop out looking for you. When he finds you, ask him." Fuck. Fuck! Blake wasn't exaggerating. I try to school my expression to something neutral, but the alcohol soaked into my brain is making it impossible to keep a straight face. When did I last do a shot with Melissa?

Because it feels like whenever that was, it's only kicking in now. The world is all soggy, and it has nothing to do with the rain. The floor feels like a sponge, the air thick as jello. "Don't worry your pretty little head," Kai says, his grin easier now that he found a bruise to prod. "I won't say a word. Long as you do the same, of course." "What?" "When that cop comes knocking, and he will, you and me-" he flicks a finger between us "-we barely know each other. Got it?" I shove at his chest, trying to extract myself from the situation.

Totally unfair that he has me cornered when I'm this intoxicated. Like taking candy from a drunk baby. I don't stand a chance of defending myself. Why the hell didn't I just stay home tonight? Because then I would have ended up at Bastian's house. As if his name is a summons, my eye catches sight of a tall, dark figure behind Kai. My stomach twists into a pretzel. For a wild second, I'm sure I'm going to puke. I almost wish I can and that Kai gets the worst of it. Like all over his shoes or something. Wait...he's not wearing shoes.

He looks like he just crawled out of bed, with his sweat pants and rumpled hoodie. But there's no time to process that, because Professor Rooke... Isn't there anymore. I know I didn't imagine him this time. He must have come looking for me because I ignored his voice note. "Hey! Fucking look at me when I'm threatening you." Kai grabs my chin. "I need your word, Haven." "Professor Rooke's here," I mutter out as I tug free of his grip. "But please, do carry on threatening me. I was just about to break." Kai lets out a low growl, then throws his head around to check behind him.

"Where?" "He's gone already, you idiot." There's a dangerous gleam in Kai's narrowed green eyes when he looks back at me. "Stop fucking around. I'm serious. You say anything to that cop about me and you, or me and Ezra, and I'll tell them all about your little power trip this morning." He flinches when I let out a rough laugh. "So you didn't go down to the police station to report me after I got out of the Uber?" Color touches his cheeks, his eyes bright like he's catching a fever. I lean forward, pushing my chin out, trying to stare down my nose at him, but he's too tall.

"You poke a hole in this ship, Kai, and we're both going down." I stab a finger into his chest. "Bet you didn't think about that, huh?" He catches my finger, wrenches it to the side. I yelp-more in surprise than pain-and a couple nearby turn to look at us. Just as quickly, they both decide they have somewhere else to be. Fuck 'em. Don't need their help anyhow. I've been handling Kai's moods since we were kids. His almost manic joy. The dark dips he'd catch afterward.

The times he was more zombie than man, eyes unfocused, jaw slack, just going through the motions until I found a way to snap him out of it. It usually resulted in me being tied to a tree, but hey, we both had our coping mechanisms back then. "Go on," I tell him when he tugs at my finger even harder, watching me intently. "Break it. Bet it'll make you feel like a big, strong man." He leans into me so hard, so close, that I'm doing a fucking back-bend to avoid him. He grabs the back of my neck, holding me in place, and when I try to bat him away, he shoves a hand between my legs.

My body responds in all the wrong ways, of course. Face flushing, pussy clenching as his touch sends an electric thrill racing up my spine. "Kai! Stop!" There's a frantic edge to my voice as I try to tug his hand away. "What are you doing?" It's raining harder now. Not just a cute little drizzle. The pool is emptying out. Everyone's going inside, where it's warm. And dry. And shit isn't going down that they can potentially be witnesses to. People look, then look away. Nobody's going to save me. And Kai fucking knows it. It makes me so mad I want to punch something. Kai will have to do.

There's a satisfying crack of bone against bone when my knuckles meet the side of his face. But other than working his jaw a few times, he barely acknowledges the strike. He's too busy trying to slip his finger behind my underwear. And I'm too busy trying to force myself to stop him. "Stop it!" I grab his wrist again. "I'm on my fucking period." "And?" "And unless you're planning on getting a pair of tweezers to pull my tampon out when you're done, those fat fingers of yours aren't going inside me." That makes him stop. But for all the wrong reasons.

He leans back, slides a hand into my hair, and wrenches my head back. There's a frantic smile on his mouth that makes a part of me shudder, and another come alive. "That's why you were bleeding last night." I roll my eyes. "And here I thought I'd have to paint a fucking picture." His lips form into a hard, cruel line. "You played us both." "Huh?" He laughs, and it's even worse than the smile. Kai releases my hair, grabs the railing, leans his head on my shoulder and starts rocking back and forth. "You fucking played us, Miss H." So...I'm getting vibes. Like how maybe Kai isn't sober.

Not in a 'whoopsie, too much tequila' kind of way. But like hardcore mind-altering chemicals have been introduced to his blood stream and have flicked on switches that should always, always be turned off. Ducking my head to get a better look at his pupils, I whisper, "Are you on something?" "Fuck off, Haven." "You're acting⁠-" "What? Crazy?" His laugh sounds it. "Because anyone who doesn't swallow everything you say, hook, line, and fucking sinker, they gotta be crazy, right?" He presses his nose against the side of my neck, inhales a sharp breath. "I can still smell him on you.

It's like he's soaked into your skin." My body's shivering now, and it's got nothing to do with the drops of rain reaching us under the porch roof. Or the odd gust of wind driving them to us. It's the way Kai's voice drops so low, it's rumbling. With his face so close to mine, all I can think about is kissing him. Like I did this morning. He wouldn't taste the same. He had Bastian's cum in his mouth. Bitter. Salty. Warm. And then sweet and wet the longer we kissed. Fuck, how can I get this turned on by someone who obviously despises me so much?

Because in that tiny sliver of a moment this morning, it didn't feel like he hated me. ...I fucking love you... The memory of those words he whispered to me last night send a jolt through my body. Did that really happen? And if it did, was it genuine, or just the drugs and the sex? The thought that it might be real, like real real, makes my chest close up. I can't deal with that level of mindfuckery right now. It's easier to believe he hates me than to hope, even for a second, that he maybe doesn't. "Why'd you try so hard to make me believe you were a virgin?

You really think it matters anymore? I know what a fucking slut you⁠-" My knee slams into his groin. Because seriously, I've fucking had it with him. ...HAVEN IS A FUCKN WHORE... I wish I found it satisfying, watching him crumple onto the floor like a used napkin. But all I feel is pity. Pity...and a tiny, annoying morsel of concern. I'm the one who has to get my head examined? I crouch down beside him, grabbing onto the railing when the world bobs a little too much on the way down. "Stay away from me, Kai. If you see me walking down the hall, go the other way.

Because I'm done being your fucking chew toy. If you follow me again, I'll make sure that cop finds me, and I'll make sure not to leave anything out when I tell him how inappropriate you and Bastian were last night." I pull myself up by the railing, not trusting my legs. "And for fuck's sake, see a therapist." Kai grabs the front of my dress, hauling me down so hard that I end up on my knees beside him. "Think I won't sink this ship?" he hisses, pushing past the pain so evident in his tearing eyes so he can sit up and put our eyes on a level.

My heart hammers in my chest, and that sickening dread weighs down my stomach like a lead ball. "You forget, Haven. I can afford a fucking life boat now." Kai grabs my jaw, his fingers sinking in hard enough to make me wince. "I have friends, influence. You've got nothing. No one. Last I checked, you can't even fucking swim." He drags me closer until his breath is tickling my lips. "If I throw you overboard, Heavenly, you'll drown before anyone even notices you're gone."