Stalked by my Professor Novel

Chapter 12 This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't fucking be happening. The mantra plays on repeat through my head, pinging off the inside of my skull like a fucking pinball in an arcade machine. But part of me has been waiting for this moment since the maple tree. Rain drums on the roof, against the windows, and it feels like it's bearing down, trying to get inside, trying to drown me. ɴᴇᴡ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ find~novel~net It was Kai who grabbed my throat.

There's no way Bastian has the same grip, the same relentless shake in his hands as he tightened his fingers. It was like the worst déjà vu I'd ever felt. I didn't imagine Kai. It wasn't the drugs making me hallucinate. Kai is here in the flesh...and for some reason, they both thought it would be hilarious as hell to pretend he wasn't. My worst enemy is here, when I'm at my weakest. My most vulnerable. The boy who's told me point blank he hates me, that he'll do anything to force me to leave Agony Hollow, is right beside me...and I'm bound and at his fucking mercy.

If I could yell at him 'I'm sorry', I would. For loving him too much, for wanting too much, for being the girl who destroyed our friendship. But he put a gag in my mouth for a reason, and I refuse to spit it out and ruin this. He doesn't want to hear my pathetic apologies. He wants me to suffer. Tears leak out of my eyes, soaking into the mask. I shouldn't have put so much pressure on him. I tricked him that day under the maple tree. Because I thought he wanted it as much as I did. That all he needed was a little encouragement.

I thought if I could just make him see me as a woman instead of a child, everything would change. Then I called him a loser and, even worse, sent him a horrible letter. Because he fucking hurt me that day. Kai crushed my heart, poured it in a pipe, and smoked it. He was my first love, my first heartbreak, my first lesson that wanting someone doesn't mean you get to keep them. So all the apologies I meant to say spill into my mind. I'm sorry, Kai. I love you, Kai. Please...please don't hurt me again, Kai. But he does. Him and Bastian. They hurt me...and it feels... Fuck...

It feels so fucking good. Because I deserve it for being the girl who loved too hard. Wanted too much. And never learned when to fucking let go.