6Likes CHAPTER002:APlaneTicket CHAPTER 002 : A Plane Ticket Ifeelmyfaceflame.Whodoesthisgirlthinksheis? Imnot,Finnreplies,notevenpausingtothink.
Bummer.Amberpouts.Idowanttoseehernaked,though.
Whatsherproblem?Isshemockingme?Makingfunoftheplain,awkwardfriend?Oristheresomethinggenuineinherinterest? Eitherway,Idontwanttostickaroundtofindout.
Iturnandpushmywaythroughthecrowd,headingfortherestroom,needingspace,air,silence.
Stupid,stupid,stupid,Ichantsilently.WhatdidIexpectwouldhappentonight? Inthebathroom,Ileanagainstthesink,staringat myreflectioninthesmudgedmirror.
Getyourshittogether,Imutter.Thiswasyouridea.
MybrilliantplantocheerupFinnhasbackfiredspectacularly.InsteadofdistractinghimfromDelilah,IvepushedhimintothearmsofAmber.AndnowImhidinginabathroomwhiletheyreprobablyexchangingsalivaandphonenumbers.
Isplashsomecoldwateronmywrists,reapplymylipstick,andsteelmyselftogobackoutthere.Imagrownwoman.Icanhandlewatchingmybestfriendhookupwithsomeoneelse.Ivebeen doingitforadecade.
ButwhenIfinallybravetheclubagain,scanningthedancefloorforFinnsfamiliarform,hesnowheretobefound.
ThespotwhereheandAmberweredancingisnow occupiedbyagroupofcollegeagedgirlstakingselfies.Panicflaresin mychestasIpushthroughsweatybodies,searching.Hewouldntleavewithoutme.Wouldhe? Ispotthemjustastheyreslippingoutthefrontdoor,FinnsarmwrappedaroundAmberswaist,herheadthrown backinlaughteratsomethinghes said.Theyreleaving.Together.Withoutsomuchasatext.
Ishovemywaytotheexit,ignoringthecursesandglaresthrownmyway.
ThecoolnightairhitsmeasIburstoutside,justintimetoseeFinnfumblingwithkeysmykeysatmycar.
Hey,hey,hey.Whereareyougoing?Ihurrytowardthem,myheelsclickingonthepavement.
Finnlooksup,startled.Weretakingthepartyhome,Sloane.
Andyoudecidedtotakemycar? Hehasthedecencytolooksheepish,ahandreachinguptorubthebackofhisneck inthat familiargestureIusuallyfindcaptivating.Buttonight,itjustfeedsmy anger.Howdarehestandtherelookingboyishlyembarrassedwhilehewasabouttostealmycar? Amberjustrollshereyes.Chill,Mom.You canUberhome.

Iwilldonosuchthing.IsnatchmykeysfromFinnshand.Youtwoaredrunk.Getinthebackseat.Illdrive.
Amberseyesnarrow,butsheslidesintothecaranyway.
Finnfollowsher,notquitemeetingmyeyes.Islamthedoorbehindthemharderthannecessary.
Thedriveisexcruciating.MyknucklesarewhiteonthewheelasInavigate the darkstreets,tryingtoignorewhatshappeninginmyrearviewmirror.Butitsimpossiblenottohear themthewhispers,thegiggles,thewetsoundsofk Iturnuptheradio,buteventhatcantdrownouttheirmurmurs.
Iwant yousobad,Finnsays.
Takemerighthere,rightnow,Amberresponds.
Hervoicemakesmyskincrawl.
g.
Eww.Ifyouhavesexinmycar,Imflingingyoubothrightoutthewindow,Isay,swervingslightlyasIturntoglareatthem.Theyretangled togetherinthebackseat,AmberpracticallyinFinnslap,herlipsticksmearedacrosshisneck.Herhandisdangerouslyhigh onhisthigh.
Shecatchesmyeyeinthemirrorandsmiles.Wannajoinus?Hertonguedartsouttowetherlips.Itwillbefun.
Inearlydriveusofftheroad.
What?Myvoicecomesoutasasqueak.
Youheardme.Ivealwayswantedtotryathreesome.
Finnseyesmeetmineintherearviewmirror.HecantellImpissed.Amber,Idontthink- Donttellmeyouhaventthoughtaboutit,Finn,shecutshimoff.Yourhotlittlenerdfriend,allworkedupanddesperate.Ibetsheswild underallthat…restraint.
1/3 CHAPTER002:APlaneTicket MyfaceburnssohotImsurprisedthecarwindowsdontfog.Youredrunk,Imanagetosay.Bothofyou Notthatdrunk,Amberpurrs.Justdrunkenoughtobehonest.Whatdoyousay,Sloane?You,me,andFinn?IbetyouveimaginedFinnshandsonyouamilliontimes.

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Thecarfallssilentexceptforthehumoftheengineandmyownthunderingheartbeat.Amberhasspokenmydeepestmostguardedsecretoutloud,thrownitintotheairbetweenuslikeitsnothing.Likeitsjustanotherdrunkensuggestion,notthethingthatskeptmeawakeforcountlessnights.
Igripthesteeringwheeltighter,focusedontheroadahead,afraidtolookinthemirroragain.AfraidofwhatFinnmightseeinmyface.
Amber,stop,Finnsays.Youremakingheruncomfortable.
AmI?Amberleanstowardme.OramIjustsayingwhatSloaneisthinking?ThatswhyyoufollowedFinnhereashischaperone,isntit?Youwanthim.
Islamonthebrakes,pullingsharplytothecurb.Getout,Isay,myvoiceshaking.Bothofyou.Getoutofmycar Sloane,comeon,Finnsays.
Imserious.Getout.TakeanUber to yourplace.Imgoinghome.
Amberlaughs,thesoundlikeglassbreaking.Ohmygod,Iwasright.Youtotallywanttofuckhim.
Amber!Finnhisses.Thatsenough.
Isthatallshethinksthisis?Somebasephysicalattraction?ShehasnoideawhatFinnmeanstome.NoconceptofthedepthoffeelingsIhaveforhim.Shesreducedmylovetosomethingtawdry,somethingshameful.
MyhandsaretremblingasIturntofacethem.Get.Out.Now.
Somethinginmy expressionmustconvincethemImserious.Finngetsoutfirst,thenhelpsAmber,whosstilllaughingasshestumblesontothesidewalk.Idontwaittoseewheretheygo.Ipullawayfromthecurbwithascreechoftires, myvisionblurredwithunshedtears.
Foralmostaweek,IignoreFinnscalls.
My phonerings.Iletit.Itpings.Iswipeitaway.
Iburymyselfinwork,hopingitwilloverwritethehumiliationburningthroughmyveins.
ButFinnHartleyis likeacockroach.Healwaysfindsawayin.

Areyouavoidingme,Sloane?heasksfromaboveme.
Ilookupfrommymonitor.Hesthere,leaningagainsttheedgeof mycubiclelikeheownsthebuilding.Hishairisatousledmess,darkeyessmudgedwithsleeplessness.Helooks…wrecked.Good.
Wholetyouin?Isay.
Thereceptionisthasacrushonme,remember? Finn,Imbusy.Iturnbacktomyscreen.Canwetalklater?Hopefullynever.
Imnotgoinganywhereuntilyoutalktome.
Iglancearound.Mycoworkersareopenly gawking.JennafromaccountingliterallyjustnudgedCarlafromIT.Fant NowImtheofficedramaspectacle.
Willyoukeepyourvoicedown?Ihiss.Peoplearewatching.
Hegrins.Moreliketheyrecheckingmeout.
Youresofullofyourself.
Whatswiththeattitude?Isit…thattimeofthemonthorsomething? Oh.Oh,thismotherfucker.
Iswivelmychairtowardhim,eyesnarrowing.Didyoureallyjust- Imkidding!heraiseshishandsinsurrender.Jesus,Sloane.Whatthehellisgoingonwithyou? Whatsgoingonwithme?Hesseriouslyactinglikehedoesntknow?Fine,letsplaythisgametogether.
I stareathim,throattight.Whatdoyouwant,Finn? Hereachesintohisjacketandtossessomethingontomydesk.
Whatisthat?Iask.
AplanetickettoAsheville,NorthCarolina.Ibookeditforsevenweeksfromnow.
Ifrown,notlikingwherethisisheaded.Whyareyougivingmeaplaneticket,Finn? YouandmeashingDellatiswedding