CHAPTER015WokeWordForGirlfriend CHAPTER 015 :Woke WordForGirlfriend IcanfeelKnoxshandsgrippingmywaisttightly,eyesfixedonmineinthemirrorasheramsintomefrombehind.
Letgoforme,Kitten,hesays.
AndIdo.
Mywholebodytrembleslikeaviolinstringbeingpulledtaut.Hisbreathishotonmyneck,andmymoansechointherestroom.Theresaknockatthedoor.Avoice.ItsFinnyellingmyname,tellingmetottodothis.Idontwantyouscrewingmybrother,Sloane.ButIcantstop.Idont wanttostop.I- Myeyessnapopen.
Myheadispounding.Mymouthtastes likeregretandbourbon.Andthesoundsfromthatterribledreamarereverberatinginsidemyskull.
Igroanandthrowanarmovermyeyes.
God,Ihatealcohol.Imalsostarving.
Iglanceatthenightstandclock.Itsalmosteleven.HowdidIsleepthislong?IcouldhaveswornIwasjustalittlebittipsylastnight.
Ofallthethingsmybraincouldverehashedfromlastnightthefight,Finnsanger,myshameitchosethepartwhereIhadsexwithKnox.
Irollover,squintingatmyphoneonthenightstand.Thescreenblinkswithanincomingcall:Mom.
Guessthatswhatwokemeup.
Isighandanswer.Hi,Mom.
Hi,Sloaniebug!Yousoundexhausted.Roughweekend? Youcansaythat.

Well,atleastyourehavingfun.
Hangoversarentfun.
She laughs,onethatsmoreofahahalaughthanarealone.Atyourage,Ihadthemallthetime.
Right.Becausewhen shewasmyage,28,shewasstuckina lovelessmarriagewithmyemotionallyunavailablefather.Whateveralcoholmemoryshesclingingtoisdefinitelysoakedinbitternessandpassiveaggressivedinnertablearguments.
Icalledyouearlier,shesays,butyoumusthavebeendeadasleep.SoIcalledyourfriend,Finn.
Uhoh.
WhatdidyoutellFinn?Iask.
SageandIarehostingalittle barbecuenextweekend.Hesinvitedhisfriends,family,someclients…andIdlikeyoutocome.Therellbealotofhandsomemenyourage,andoneinparticularwouldbeperfectforyou.Hesan independentartistlikeSage,ownshisowngallery- OhmyGod.Areyoutryingtomatchmakemewithyourhusbandsfriends? OfcourseIam,Sloane.Idontwantyoutobealone.
YoutoldFinnabout thismatchmakingcircus? Idid!HejumpedontheideathesecondImentionedit.EvenFinnknowsyouneedtoputyourselfoutthere.Imean,hesclearlynotbreakingupwithhisgirlfriendanytimesoon.Iknowyouvegotthatsillylittlecrushonhim,buthoney- Mom! Dontcomeat me.YouknowIalwayssaythetruth.
Unbelievable.Sonotonlydidsheplot ablinddatebarbecue,sheropedFinnin?Does henotrememberIhaveplweekendwithmydad?Oristhissometwistedpunishmentforlastnight? ext Idontknowwhatsweirder,thatmymommarriedamuchyoungermanorthefactthatshestryingtomatchmakemewithhisfriends.
Icantbethere,Mom.ItsDadsturnthismonth.IvisitedyouinJune.Ialreadymadeplanstobeat hisplacenextweekend-itshiskidsbirthday.
Successfullyunlocked! Theresapause.Well…foronce,youcangoagainstyourforcesmonthrule.Imean,yourfatherhashadyouthelongest.Cutmesomeslack.
Igroan,leavingthebedandshufflingtothebathroom.Mybladderisnotplaying nicethismorning.

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YoucantfaultDadforhavingmethelongestwhenyouleftmewithhim,ImutterasIdropontothetoilet.
1/3 CHAPTER015WokeWordForGerifriend Iwasyoungandfiguringoutmylife.Icouldntdisruptyoursbytakingyouwithme.Youweretoolittleto handlebothyourparentstearingeachotherapartforcustody.Iveexplainedthisamilliontimes,honey ButyoutookSerena,Iwasfive,Mom.
Silence.
Ileanmyheadintomyhand,rubbingatmytemplewiththeheelofmypalm.Idonthavetheenergytoreopenwoundsorunearthyearsoftherapywork Tellyouwhat,Isay.WhydontIthinkaboutit? Thatdbelovely,Sloane.Illkeepmyfingerscrossed.HavefuninAsheville Illtry.
Iloveyou,Sloaniebug Ipause.LikeIalwaysdo.Icanhearherbreathingontheotherendoftheline,waiting,likeshealwaysdoestoo,hopingtodaywouldbethedayIsayitback.
Bye,Mom.
Iendthecall.
Iexhaleandreachforsometoiletpaper,finishmybusiness,andshuffletowardthesink.Ilooklikeawashedoutgothmermaidinahorrormoviesmudgedmascara,frizzedouthair,andeyesthatscreambaddecisions.
Timetoshower,eatsomething,andthencasuallyripFinnanewoneforagreeingtoablind dateforme.
Ifreshenup,toweloffthe shame,throwondenimshortsandaTshirtwithasarcastic404:MotivationNotFoundlogo,andheadoutoftheroom.
Idontgetfar.
BecauseIslamstraightintoaverybroadchest.
Ilookupandforabrief,gutwrenchingsecondIthinkitsKnox.

AmIhallucinatinghimnow? Hisfaceisjustaschiseled.Justashandsome.Except…theeyes.Thebluenessisdifferent.Lighter.Sharper.
Andthecrowsfeetatthecornersofhiseyestellmethismanisolder.Mucholder.
Hestaresatmewithsuspicion.
Uhh…whoareyou?Didyoubreakin? Excuseme? Breakin?Iecho.Howwouldsomeonebreakintothishouse? Justthen,aloudfemalevoicecomesfromdownthehall.Sheslaughing.Adoorswingsopen, andoutwalksavisionofgrace.Astunningwomanwithelegantcurlsandasilkrobe,smilingassheclingstoFinn.Irecognizeherinstantly.Finnsmom,VictoriaHartley.Guessthismeans hisparentsarebackfromtheirvacation.WhichwouldalsoimplythatthebroodingmanwhojustcalledmeaburglarisFinnsfather, JulianHartley.
Victoria Hartleypullsawayfromhersonandspreadsherarmswide.
Sloane!Itsbeentoolong.
Igrinawkwardly.
Mrs.Hartley- Nonsense.CallmeVictoria.
Shewraps meinawarm,lavenderscentedhug,whilethemanbehindmecontinuestoscowl.
Hecrosseshisarms.Finnsgotanewgirlfriendnow? Victorialaughs.No,honey.ThisisSloane.Hisbestfriend.Itoldyoutheywerecoming.
Julianraisesoneskepticalbrow.Bestfriend?Isthatthewokewordforgirlfriend? No,silly,shechides.
Friendswithbenefitsthen? NO!FinnandIbothshoutatthesametime.
Julianlooksbetweenuslikehestryingtosolveaconspiracytheory.Thenturns tohiswife.Menandwomencanbebestfriends?