CHAPTER074YouthfulExuberance CHAPTER074:YouthfulExuberance ItsbeenaweeksinceIfoundoutKnoxhasawife,andIvebeen ignoringeveryoneinmylifelikeitsafulltimejob.MyphonehasturnedintoagraveyardofunreadmessagesandmissedcallsKnox,Finn,Serena,andmymom.ButIcantbringmyselftoopenanything.EverytimeIseeKnoxsnamepopup,mychesttightensandIfeellikeImightshatter IdontknowwhyImthismad.Idont.Itmakesno rationalsense.Hetoldmethemarriage wasntreal.Thatitwasafavor.Thathedidittokeepapromise.AndIbelievehim.Butnoneofthatjustif
iestheageIfeelwhenIrememberhimkissingmegoodnightattheprecinct.Thenhimcallingacabandgoinghomewithher.
Todiscussherclaimaboutbeingframedforshoplifting Sure ForallIknow,Sorayadroppedthatbraceletintoherowndamnpursejusttogethisattention.Maybethatmakesmesoundparanoid.Delusional,even.ButlogichasneverbeenmystrongsuitwhenImjealous.BecauseIam,indeed,jealousofthatwoman,jealousofthefactthatthemanImbecomingverymuchattachedto islegallyboundtoher Itslunchhour.Everyoneelse isoutoftheoffice,andImhunchedovermydesklikeawomanpossessed,GooglingSorayaHartely Nothing.
Nophotos.Nogossipblogs.Noscandals.Notevenanoldcollege yearbookimage.
HerInstagramslocked.HerTwittersbeeninactivesince2018.HerFacebookiscompletelyprivate.Novisibleposts.Notevenaprofilepicture.Itried lookingthrougholdpostsbyDr.YaraColburn.Stillnothing.IevencheckedReddit.
TheonlythingremotelypublicisherLinkedInprofileacold,impersonallistthatsaysshesbeenworkingasanassistantpsychologistunderDr.Yaraforaboutayear.
Mymousehoversoverthetabforapeoplesearchsite.Youknow,theshadykind thatpromisesbackgroundreportsandcontacthistoriesforasmallfee.Imconsideringit,actuallyconsideringit, whenavoicestartlesme.
Sloane? Ijumpandslammylaptopshut.
Twopairsofcuriouseyesstaredown atme.
JennaandCarla.
Officegossiproyalty.
Jennashairisinitsusualflawlesstwist,aloosecurltuckedbehindoneear.Shealwayssmellsfaintlyofvanilla.Carla,taller,withhoopearringsthatswingwhenshemovesandaphonepermanentlygluedtoherhand,grinslikeshescaughtmewatchingporn.
Theymustvejustcomebackfromlunch.Bagsinhand, sodacupssweatingcondensation.
Youdidntgooutforlunch?Jenna asks.
Hadadeadline,Ireply.Neededtofinishaproject.

Theyglanceat eachotherliketheyknowthatsalie.Normally,theywouldntgivemethetimeofday,sothefactthattheyrebothhoveringovermydeskwithinterestmeanstheycameforsomething.
Inarrowmyeyes.Whatdoyou bothwant? Jeez,cantsomeonejustwantto talktoafellowcolleague?Jennasays.
Notyoutwo.
Carlalaughs.
Okay,fine.Ahandsomemanjustpaidusagrandtolureyououtsidethebuilding.Sayshesyourstepfather.Whohasstepdaddiesthathot? Jade? Isthathisname?Carla fansherself.Soundsashotashelooks.
Irubmytemples.Couldyou just…stop fawningovermymothershusband?Andwhythehelldidnt hecallme?Whysendyoutwo? Hesaidsomethingaboutyourlinenotgettingpickedup,Jennasays.
Withasigh,Igrabmy phoneandscrollthrough mynotifications.Jesus.Twentymissedcalls.FromMom.Serena.Finn.
Knox.Jade.
Apparently,Imahotcakethesedays.
Whereishenow?Iask,lockingeyeswithJenna.
1/3 CHAPTER074YouthfulExuberanceParkinglot.
Thanks.
Yourewelcomeanytimeaslongasthepaysagrand,Carlasays.
Theywalkoff,gigglingtothemselves,whileIpushbackfrommydeskandgrab mypurse Downintheparkinglot,IspotJadeleaningagainstashinycherryredChevroletCorvette.His armsarecrossed,sunglassesperchedonhisforehead,phoneinhand,lookingrestless.
Thesecondheseesme,heexhaleslike hesjustsurvivedawar.
Youhadmestandingouthereforever,hesays.

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Youshouldvecalledfirstbeforeshowingupatmyworkplace.
Ifyoudpickedup your damncalls,maybeIwould.
Whatdoyouwant,Jade? Hepopsopenthebackseatand pullsoutabouquetofrosesso massiveitlookslikeapropfromatelenovela.Thenhepushesitintomychest.Icatchitonreflex,nearlypokingmyeyeonathorn.
Yourboyfriendaskedmetodeliverthat.
Thehell? Whywouldhesendyou?Iask.
BecausehesinHongKongforbusinessandwouldntstopworryingabouthisgirlfriend,whos notpickingup anyonescalls.NowI havetobecomeadeliveryman,likeIdontalreadyhaveenoughshittodealwith.
Jeez,Imutter.Whatsgot yousoangry? Youpeople.Allofyou.Yourmomsnothappybecauseyoure nothappy.Andwhenshesnothappy,itbecomesmydamnproblem.Everythingyoudocirclesbacktome.Ifyouhadntdecidedtogo rogueanddateamanlikeKnoxwhichexposedmyverycarefullyguardedsecretyoursisterwouldntbecallingmeeveryhourthreateningtospillitall.Justdowhatyourmotherwants,for theloveofGod.
Isquintathim.Whatshewants? Idontknowwhatyouhavegoing onwithmyboss,butdontyouthinkitscausedenoughchaos?Yourmomwontshutupaboutit.Whydontyoujust findsomeoneyourspeed,getmarried,popoutsomecutebabies,andwecanallmoveon? 1stareathim.
Moremyspeed?Whatisthis?Potandkettlesituation?Youliterallymarriedmymotherdoingthesamethinghedoes.
Thedifferenceis,Iloveyourmother,andIwouldneverhurther.KnoxKnoxthrivesonchaos.Hedoesntmeantohurtpeople,buthewill.Andhesmarried.
Iknowthat.
Youknow?JesusChrist.Whatelsedoyouknowandnotcareabout?Becauseapparentlyyourmotherspeaceofmindisoneofthem.
Mymouthopens.Thencloses.Hedidnotjustsaythat.
Anothertime,thisamountofhypocrisywouldhavebeenfunny.Butrightnow? Iwanttopunchhim.
Thanksforthemessage,Jade,Isay.Ivereceivedit.Imgoingbacktomydayjob.

Iturntoleave.
Sloane,wait.
Ipause.
Herunsahandthroughhishair.Okay.MaybeIwastooharsh.Butyouneedto know…yourmotherspregnant.
Istopbreathing.
What? Shebeggedmenottosayanything.ButshehadIVFdone.Shesaidshewantedachild.Shesaboutthreemonthsalong.Ivetriedeverythingtoconvincehernottocarryit,butshewontbudge.Soyoumustunderstandwhyshedoesntneed thisstressrightnow.
Whyarebothmyparentshavingbabiesintheiroldage? Thatsyourreaction? Whatdoyouwantmetosay?Itsherdecision.Irespectit.Seehoweasythatwas?Maybeyoushouldtrytellingyourwife 2/3 CHAPTER074:YouthfulExuberance thesame.Askhernottostressmeouttoo,becausemybrainisjustaspregnantas sheis.
Hegroans.Youresoundingveryselfishrightnow.
Imtheselfishone?Doyouhearyourself?ShouldIwalkyoubackthrougheverythingyoujustsaidtome? Heexhales.Look.IknowIwontgetthroughtoyou.Yourejustasstubbornasyourmother.Buttrytounderstand:maybeshesdoingthisoutofguilt.Shesneverforgivenherselfforleavingyou.Shestryingtoproveshecandoitrightthistime.Andshesalwaysonedge,naggingSerenaaboutwhenNathansgoingtopropose,stressingaboutyousettlingdownwiththerightmanjusttomakesurethatyouboth dontendupaloneforthemostpartyouryounglife.
Helooksexhausted.
Maybecuthersomeslackandgiveallthisyouthfulexuberancearest,hefinishes.Andtellyoursistertostopsendingmethreats.Iwontentertainthemanymore.
Heturnsandwalkstothedriversside,slidingintothecar.
Istandthere,stunned.
Everything hejustsaidswirlsinmyhead,tanglinguplikeChristmas lightsinabox.Youthfulexuberance?Istepcloser,knockonhiswindow.Herollsitdown halfway.
Howdareyou?Isay.