Invisible to My First Love by Lypstical Novel

Chapter 113 Maddox " I've fallen for you . Hard ." My voice was quiet . I thought the hardest part that evening would be telling Harper how I felt about her , but I was wrong , it was the moment that came afterwards . I held my breath as I watched her in the mirror , her smile slowly fading as she processed what I'd just said to her . Then , she slowly turned to face me , her expression unreadable . I wanted her to say something , anything to make me feel at ease , but the more she just stared at me , the more I couldn't maintain eye contact .

I'd always been in control , meeting her gaze each time I felt like taking the lead in any situation . But how could I look at her after telling her that ? When she sighed heavily with her eyes closed , my heart shattered into a million pieces . I didn't want to see her expression when she was going to open her eyes again . She was already judging me and that sigh ? It was an obvious rejection and I took a few steps back before she could speak . Without saying a word , I rushed to pick up my clothes .

I even paused when I had everything except my shoes , hoping that would be the moment she'd say something from behind me , but I couldn't even hear her breathe , making me scrunch the fabric of my shirt . After picking up my shoes , I slammed the bathroom door and watched my face in the mirror for a few seconds , feeling like a fucking idiot . What was I expecting ? That she'd run into my arms and say she felt the same way ? I'd known all along how she felt about Grayson , even when she was trying her best to keep some distance and there I was , hoping for a different result .

With a sigh of defeat , I shook my head as I thought about the first time I'd seen her when she'd returned to San Francisco . She'd been hurt after finding out about Grayson's engagement and I offered her a solution that involved hhh . It didn't matter back then when she'd rejected me , but now , fuck . I held my breath , hoping I'd hear her against the bathroom door , but she never came close and if she did , I heard nothing , not even her calling my name .

I was so mad at myself that as I roughly put on my clothes , I wished that I had kept my mouth shut about my feelings because now , her reaction cut deep . When I came out of the bathroom , I found her sitting by the bed , the sight of me making her rise quickly . There was that look in her eyes again , like what she was about to say was far from what I hoped to hear . So , right when she parted her lips to speak , I walked past her like she wasn't even there . I only focused on getting to my phone that was on the bedside table right next to her.

Speaking over her with my steady voice while lighting up my phone screen to check the time , I said , " Room service , the swimming pool , going back home , whatever you want will happen whenever you want . " " Maddox- " " The private jet will be ready to take you back whenever you're ready , " I said , quickly approaching the door . " Why do you sound like you're leaving ? " she said from behind me . I swung the door open with a tight grip on the doorknob , then paused without looking back at her . " Goodnight . " " You can't just- " " I said goodnight . " My voice was harsh .

I sighed as I realized it a few seconds later , but that didn't change anything . I wasn't going to stick around and listen to the obvious things she wanted to say . When I heard her quickly approaching behind me , I shut the door in her face , heading down the hallway with long strides . Just for a second , I looked back , hoping she had come into the hallway to see where I was going , but she wasn't even there and that only made me feel worse . I didn't want to hear from her so as I stepped into the elevator , I turned off my phone .

Harper As Maddox and I stood in front of the mirror , I thought I'd misheard him for a second , but my ears weren't deceiving me . There was no teasing smirk or usual confidence . I froze as his fragile voice echoed in my mind that he had fallen for me hard . I didn't know what to do with something like that coming from him . My heart didn't even know how to beat for a moment as I just stared back at him . As the silence lingered , everything I had been trying not to think about came rushing through my mind ... Grayson . No matter what , it was always him .

I had loved him so much for years that it became my identity and Maddox had become my escape . He lit a fire in me that I wanted to feel over and over again . Being with him made me forget that I was unwanted by the one person I had built my whole world around . The escape wasn't just the hot sex . I liked the way he sounded passionate when he spoke about painting , the way he bragged about the value of his clothes and everything he owned , the way he listened to me no matter what I had to say and the way he saw right through me when others didn't . I liked being with him .

But when he told me he had fallen for me , the words hit me so hard that all I felt was guilt . I knew that feeling too well because of my ex - boyfriend . Mike was so in love with me that he was willing to give me everything without asking for anything in return . He just wanted to make me happy and there I was , sticking around while knowing I could never give him what he gave me . I had promised myself I'd never do that to anyone again , but there I was , standing in front of the mirror and staring at the one person who had built his identity around never caring too much .

He was someone who didn't take any hookups seriously , but I had become the one exception . Even after I turned to face him , the silence carried on for a while . I knew I should say something , anything , but everything I could say already felt wrong . If I told him I didn't give a shit that he'd fallen for me , that would be a lie . If I told him I felt the same way he did , that would also be a lie . The thought of not being able to find a middle ground made me close my eyes with a heavy sigh .

By the time I opened my eyes , he was already picking up his clothes and I realized he must've mistook my silence for rejection . I felt so awful that I parted my lips to speak but once again , I didn't know the first thing to say . He slammed the bathroom door , came out a few minutes later and reached for his phone . He couldn't even meet my gaze as he made it clear he was leaving . I tried to stop him by going after him , but he shut the door in my face . I rested my back against it and slid down to the floor , hating myself for not clearing things up sooner .

Just a few minutes later , I reached for my phone and called him , but his phone had already been turned off . He didn't want to talk to me and that made me feel awful . The last thing I wanted was to break him but in the end , I broke him anyway .