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Chapter 500: "If you can give me a child, Riel, I will lay the entire world at your feet."
Her trembling worsened, her teeth clattering. If only he knew… if only he knew how close they had come.
We agreed to bury it, didn't we? To leave it in the past and live as if it never happened?
That's how she had lived. Going through each day as if she were whole, as if she weren't splintered inside. As if she hadn't lost the most precious gift the gods could ever give her. Losing her child had forced her to grow past the pain of their severed bond, beyond the heartbreak that had nearly destroyed her. It had forced her to become stronger, to bury the old Em, the one who had known innocence and hope.
After all, if I hadn't been so weak, I wouldn't have lost my child.
Who would have imagined it? That she'd conceive from her first full heat? And who would have thought she would lose it the way she did?
"You're alright. You're alright," she whispered, rocking herself. If only the movement would stir some warmth in her soul.
But no one knew. Not even Aekeira.
It was a secret Emeriel would carry to her grave.
How could she ever tell him-the male who so desperately desired children, who had suffered the loss of his two children-that she had carried his third, only to lose it because of their incompetence?
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He would never forgive himself… just as she had never forgiven herself.
So, this burden was hers alone to bear, even if it was slowly killing her inside.
No one knew why she fought so hard to protect her heart, why she withdrew from everyone, or why she was always angry. No one knew the extent of her pain. No one knew why the old Emeriel had died, making way for the new, hardened version of her.
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That girl had endured everything-survived enslavement, torment, heartbreak, and the severed bond. But she hadn't survived the loss of her child.
And now, everything she had worked so hard to build was crumbling around her. The armor she had forged was cracking.
Just weeks in his company, and all the feelings she had buried were clawing their way back to life.
For five long days, he had borne the pain of venom inside him while it destroyed his organs, all in an effort to save her life. Just the thought of it made her dead heart leap with hope.
The bond wasn't even active, yet she was falling for him all over again. All over again? Her inner voice scoffed. Did you ever truly fall out of love with him? Emeriel was… terrified.
For Aekeira, it was easy to preach. It was easy to say, "Give your heart a chance."
But Aekeira hadn't stood in that cold lavatory, helplessly watching her child slip away in a pool of blood.
She hadn't spent these last two lonely years, torn apart by the memories of a life that never had the chance to bloom.
No, it wasn't Aekeira who had to live with the misery, the gaping wound that never healed. Her sister hadn't stayed up countless nights wondering what her child might have looked like, how they might have grown, or who they would have become.
Would their child have been a strong, handsome boy or a beautiful, radiant little girl? Would their eyes have been a piercing green like their father's, or the deep blue of her own?
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