AsI brushedpastJoey,Icaughtaglimpseoftheastonishmentandanxietyinhiseyes.
Butwhatwashesoastonishedabout? Didnthewanttoacknowledgeourrelationship? Ipushedmyshoppingcartforward, butIcouldfeelhisgazefollowingme.
UntilStacyscryofpaincame:Joey,mystomachhurtsabit.
Dontworry,Illtakeyoutothehospital! Inthenextmoment,Irealizedthatgazewasgone.
IturnedmyheadandsawthatJoeyandStacyhaddisappeared,leavingonlytheabandonedshoppingcart,justlikeme,ignoredandleftbehind.
Igaveaselfmockingsmileandpushedmycarttocheckout,thencarriedthetwoheavybagsintothenightandhailedataxi.
WhenIgothome,Ipreparedthreedishesandasoupandputthemonthetable.
Maybeeatingalonewastoolonely,becauseIlostmyappetiteafterjustafewbites.Ifeltcoldandhotallover,asifIhadacold.
Iputdownmychopsticksandwenttomyroomtosleep.
Halfasleep,Joeycameback.
Hiscold,dryhandtouchedmyforehead:Whydoyouhaveafever? Hisgentleandaffectionatevoicemademedazedforamoment,andIinstinctivelygrabbedhissleeve.
Youreback.WerentyousupposedtobewithStacyatthehospital? Joeytookoutantipyreticsfromthemedicineboxinthebedroomandpouredmeaglassofwarmwater,feedingittomylips:Ijustsentherover.Iwasntaccompanyingher.

Beagoodgirlandtake themedicine,andyouwontfeelsobad.
Perhapsinfluencedbyhiscareandpampering,Irarelyshowedweakness:No,Idontwanttotakethemedicine.
Iwaspregnantandcouldnttakemedicinecasually.
Iinstinctivelytouchedmystomach,thinkingthatifJoeyaskedmewhyIdidntwanttotakeit,Iwasabouttoconfesstohimthatwealreadyhadalittlebabyontheway.
21:50 99BloodyLashesAndABulletToHisHeart 61.5% Idontknowifitwasbecauseheignoredmeonpurposeorforsomeotherreason.
ButJoeyjustturnedcold,pulledhishandoutofmine,andplacedthemedicineonthebedsidetable.Asadoctor,youshouldunderstandbetterthananyonewhatitmeanstorefusemedicaltreatment.
Injustonesentence,heshatteredthelittlehopeIhadleft.
IreallywantedtoaskJoeyifhewasthisindifferenttoStacytoo.
Butintheend,Ijustgaveabittersmileandsaid,Joey,Idontneedyoutoteachmehowtobeadoctor.
IhadalwaysbeengentleandnevertalkedbacktoJoeylikethisbefore.
Joeystoodthereforalongtime,thenseemedtocometohissenses:AreyouupsetthatIdidntaccompanyyoutodinnertoday? Mythroatwasblocked,andthewordswerestillin my throat.
Joeysphonerang.
Hepickeditupandglancedatitbeforeleavingthebedroomtoanswerthecall.

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TheonlypersonwhocouldmakehimanswerlikethatwasStacy.
ButifhecouldntletgoofStacy,whydidhehavetobe soattentivetoher? pregnant Atthatmoment,Joeycamebackintotheroomandsatontheedgeofthebed,askingme,Cantpregnantwomentakecoldmedicinecasually?Whatcanbedonetorelieveacoldandfever? Myheartskippedabeat,thinkinghehaddiscoveredmypregnancyandwashesitatingabouthowtobringitup.
ButIheardJoeysay,Stacy hasacoldandisvomitingbadly.Icametoaskforyouropinion.
Myheadthrobbedevenmorepainfully,andthewordsstuckinmythroatlikeafishbone.
SeeingthatIwasntspeaking,JoeysatdownbythebedandstartedsearchingonBaidu.
[What todoifmorningsicknessissevere?] Afterfindingtheinformation,heforwardedtheposttosomeonenamedStacy,withan extranoteofcare:Pregnantwomencanttakemedicinecasually.Icantleavehere,sobecarefulyourself.
Hesaidhecouldnt leave,butaftergivingmeapill,hedidntdoanythingelse.
Hesaidhecouldntleave,buthekeptglancingdownathisphonetoseeiftherewereanynewmessagesfromStacy.
Hisindecisionwasntsilent.
Ididntwanttoseeanymoreandclosedmyeyestorest.
Iwassotired, notjustphysicallydrainedbutfeelinglikemyhearthadfallenintoanabyss.
21:50 99BloodyLashesAndABulletToHisHeart 61.8% Chapter3 WhenIwokeupagain,Ilookedatthedimlightoutsideandfeltabitdazed.
Therewasonlythatcoldmedicinebymypillow;Joeywasgone.

Iglancedatmyphone.
Atfiveinthe morning,Stacyhadpostedastatusupdate:[WhenIneedyouthemost,yourealwaysbymyside.
] Inthephoto,StacywasleaningagainstJoeysshoulder,gettinganIVatthehospital,hereyesshiningwithhappinessandpride.
Ilookedaroundtheroom,feelinglonelyandisolated,thecompleteoppositeofStacy.
Myeyeswelledupwithtearsagain.
IfhecouldntletgoofStacy,thenwhydidJoeyevenmarryme? Wasitjusttoprovethathecoulddividehistime andlovebetweentwopeople? Iclosedmyachingeyes,notwantingto seeanymore.
Atthatmoment,Ireceivedatext fromthehospital,askingifIwasavailableforanabortionprocedurethenextday.
My hearttightenedabruptly.Inorder nottoaffectwork,Idirectlyaskedfortwodaysofffromthehospital.
Then,withtremblinghands,Ireplied,Yes.
Afterreplying,Ischeduledan appointmentattheCourttogetthedivorcecertificateandbooked aflightonGoogleFlights.
ThedestinationwasParis.
ThedatewasthedayafterIreceivedthedivorcecertificate.