Chapter5 Why? ThatwastheclassI signedupforbefore.Ihadbeen lookingforwardtothebirthofmychildwithcountless expectations.
Butnow,Igaveupmyownchildbymyself… Ilookedatthelightsofthousandsofhomesoutsidethewindowandhadalreadyredeyes,Ifyouareunwilling,youcanaskmewhatIwantfortheanniversary.
Joeysthroatwasblocked,andhedidntspeak.
Theheavysilencewaslikeahugestone,pressingdownonmyheart.
Whenwearrived,IfoundthattherestaurantJoeysaidwasfortheanniversarywasstillStacysfavoriterestaurant… Isuppressedthepowerlessnessinmyheart,gotoutofthecar,butforgotmyhandbaginthecar.
Iquicklyturnedaroundtogetit.
IsawthatJoeyhadalreadypickedupmyhandbagandsawtheabortionforminmybag.

Mybreathingstoppedforamoment,andIquicklyurged,Joey? Joeycametohissenses,pickedupthehandbagandfollowedme,Youforgottotakeyour bag.Howistheabortionforminit? Myheartwasbitter,andIcasuallytookthebag,Itsapatients.
Joeythoughtforamoment.Perhapshe rememberedthatIhadsaidmanytimesthatIwantedtohaveachild,andhisnosewouldbelikehim,andhiseyeswouldalsobelikehim.
IfIreallyhadachild,howcouldIbeartohavean abortion? Hedidntaskanymorequestionsandwalkedintotherestaurantwithme.
Therestaurantquicklyservedthedishes.
Ilookedatthetablefullofgreasyandspicydishes,andmystomach turnedandIhadnoappetiteatall.
Whatswrong?Joeynotonlydidntseemypaleface,butalsoreachedouttopickapieceoffishforme,Isntthisyourfavorite? Myheartwassuffocated,andIcalmlyputdownmychopsticks,Yourewrong.ItsnotwhatIlike.ItswhatStacy likes.
Joeyshandpickingthedishfroze,andhisthinlipspartedslightly,Sorry.
21:50 99BloodyLashesAndABulletToHisHeart 62.9% Chapter5 Hewenttotakethemenuagain,Whatdoyoulike?Ordersomethingelse.Iwillremembernexttime.

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Afterfiveyearsofmarriage,ifJoeyhadevercared aboutme,hewouldknowwhatIlikeandwhatIhate.
ButhisheartisalreadyfullofStacyspreferences,andthereisnoroomleftforme.
NowthatIhavedecidedtoleave,hisnexttimeisnotsoimportantanymore.
Noneedto trouble.Justcatlikethis.
Joeysswordlikeeyebrowsfurrowed,and hedidntspeakagain.Ialsodidntpickupmychopsticksagain.
Theatmosphere wasasstagnantasapoolofdeadwater,justlikeourfeelingsandmarriage… Ihadtorestoreafterthemiscarriageandaskedforalongleaveanddidntgotowork.
Asiftomakeupforit,Joeyhasbeencominghomeearlierthesedays,andheissendingbagsandjewelryinfrontofmeasiftheywerefree.
Ijustaccepteditcalmly,andtherewasnojoyinmyeyes.

Noneofthesedoyoulike?Joeyrubbedhiseyebrowsanddidntwanttoguessmypreferencesanymore,Ifthereisanythingyouwant,youcanmentionit,aslongasyouarehappy.
Ididntaskforanything.Ilistedanewdadlistaccordingtotheparentingcoursefornewparents,andsaid, Ijustwantyoutoaccompanymetofinishthese.
Joeydidntcareandglanceddown,Okay,aslongasyouarehappy.
Hepromised anddidit.
ThefirstthingwasthatIhandedthemilkpowderand milkbottletoJoey,Inthefuture,whenwehaveachild,you,asafather, mustlearntomakemilkpowder.
Joeyhadallkindsoftrouble.Sometimestheamountofwaterformixingmilkpowderwaswrong,andsometimesthetemperaturewastoohigh.
Buthedidntmindthetroubleatallandwasevenhappyaboutit.
Thefirsttimehemadethemilkpowder well,hewassohappythatheturnedaroundandblurtedout,Stacy,look… Butwhenhesawme,thevoicestopped,JoeysAdamsapplerolledandwantedtoexplain,I…