When regret came, I was already gone novel

Chapter 20 Tamara's POV I'd heard those same words from Louie more times than I could count . } In the past , I would've argued with him , yelling , crying , refusing to back down . } But now ? I felt numb . I just nodded mechanically , letting him think I understood , then reached for a face mask and started applying it like it was just any other night . " Louie hadn't expected me to react so calmly . Something about my silence seemed to unsettle him .

He leaned in , trying to explain , " Tamara , I've known Lindsay longer than I've known you . But I really only see her as a sister ." > Then he added , like it should settle everything , " Besides , I'm marrying you . What more do you want ? " } I stared at him , stunned , like I was seeing him clearly for the first time . " That tone , that arrogance , as if marrying me was some sort of favor he was granting . A storm of emotions churned inside me as I looked at the man I had once loved .

Then I heard myself speak , calm and steady . " Let's not get married . Let's just break up . " } As soon as the words left my mouth , I felt lighter , freer . } " What did you just say ? " Louie froze , eyes wide with disbelief . He looked like he couldn't believe I was the one saying it . " In the six years we'd been together , every fight had followed the same pattern - him throwing things , yelling , storming off , and me trying to fix everything with apologies .

But no matter how bad things got , we'd never said the word breakup . } ] Until now . stop acting like a child ? " } " Tamara , are you seriously doing this right no ne Sn apped . " We're about to get married . You're pregnant . Can't you just grow up and His irritation was obvious . He thought I was bluffing , just throwing a tantrum like always . He was so sure I'd never really leave .

" I'm not- " I began , but didn't get the chance to finish He glanced at the screen and answered immediatos " Louie , the wind is so strong up here … and I just fee I was sitting right beside him , so I heard every He stood up as he spoke into the phone , already grabb now . " his phone rang . " came Lindsay's soft , breathy voice through the speaker . his coat . " Lindsay , don't cry . Just tell me where you are .

I'm coming to you He walked to the door , then turned to me and said coldly , " I don't have the energy to deal with your drama every day . Think about what you want - marriage or breakup . " " And just like that , he slammed the door behind him . i stood there , staring at the closed door , feeling like the punchline of some cruel joke . He'd never once comforted me , his girlfriend . " But for another woman's bad mood , he was willing to rush to her side in the middle of the night .

That night , Louie didn't come home at all . The next morning , I started packing . " I left behind only the essentials . Everything else that reminded me of him , I tossed.§ Matching couple outfits , our necklaces , our Polaroid camera , the plush toys we won together at the mall , anything that held a memory of Louie went into a giant garbage bag . And as I packed , I realized something painful . Most of the things i owned were connected to him .

By the time I was done , I'd filled four huge sacks with things to throw away . And the things I planned to take with me ? Just two storage bins . " It took me five full days to clear out the apartment . But I was determined . I didn't want a single thing linked to him in my life anymore . " Not in my home . Not in my heart . " He didn't come back once during those five days . } No texts . No calls . Nothing . But I knew where he was , thanks to Lindsay's constant Tik Tok updates .

She posted everything - Louie taking her to an amusement park , peeling shrimp for her at dinner , playing cutesy kissing games . Every time she posted something new , the algorithm shoved it in my face , no matter how many times I hit " Not Interested " S