Chapter 16 % Hestial I am in shock , standing still , staring at the bouquet of peonies and the paper bags full of sweets and fancy gifts on my bed.
I wipe the sweat from my forehead and the tip of my nose with exaggerated flair .
What is he up to ? I mutter , picking up the small note that came with the bouquet and rereading it for the third time .
Im so sorry for everything Ive said and done .
Lucian Ducani I scoff , eyes narrowing in disbelief .
My mind scrambles for logic because this is not something he does .
Not once has he ever apologized Even when he was wrong .
He didnt even apologize after kissing Beverly .
What I got instead was an excuse .
He said he was drunk He said he knew why he did it .
That she reminded him of Chesca % And now , out of nowhere , he sends this note , claiming hes sorry for everything ? For what , exactly ? For accusing me of flirting with another man ? For humiliating me ? Or maybe because he finally received the divorce papers .
Though , judging by the lack of response , maybe he hasnt had time to open them .
Hes been busy lately .
Too busy .
It might be related to last nights news .
I wasnt bothered by it , but maybe he thinks I was .
Maybe hes trying to fix things before they collapse beyond repair .
Maybe this is damage control .
I glance at the flowers again .
A miracle , really .
How did he know I love peonies ? % I open the boxes of food and feel my stomach grumble .
Its early , and the food is still warm .
I hate that it smells so good .
I hate that he thought of sending me breakfast .
I hate that Im actually hungry .

As annoyed as I am with both him and our son , Im not about to waste food .
Its still a blessing , no matter where it came from .
While I eat , I start opening the gift bags .
My eyes widen , Jewelry .
Elegant , delicate pieces .
Shimmering bracelets .
Beautiful earrings .
Items Ive never received from him .
For the first time in five years , I whisper , he figured out what I actually like ? I stare at the items in disbelief .
Is this witchcraft or maybe he went to a psychic just to finally get something right .
Maybe someone told him what Ive always wanted .
Maybe hes just guessing .
Maybe hes desperate .
Does he really think this will win me back ? That Ill forget everything just because he finally bought me gifts ? Let me guess .
He asked his friends for advice and they told him gifts might work .
They probably said women love surprises and sweet gestures .
But theyre wrong about me .
I have my own money .
My own savings .
I can buy all of this myself if I want to .
Maybe I should send it all back .
But then I remember , I already ate the food .
I smirk .
These were given to me .
I didnt ask for them .
I dont need to return them , I dont even owe him a thank you .

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% I push everything aside and decide right then and there to spend the whole day outside .
I want to roam around .
I want to breathe .
I want to feel something that isnt guilt or duty or heaviness .
I think this is the first time Ive truly felt free .
No rushing home to prepare dinner .
No last minute errands .
No chores .
No obligations .
I dont have to care about a husband expecting everything to be done or a child waiting for something warm on the table .
This is my first real taste of freedom .
When my father died , I was supposed to leave the country .
I was accepted to a program in Minnesota .
That was the plan .
That was my dream .
But everything changed when the engagement between the Scotts and the Ducanis was announced .
My stepmother asked me to stay until my sisters wedding .
I said yes .
Then , after the wedding , the accident happened .
Or maybe something else did .
Maybe the doctors were right .
There are holes in my memory .
Because the truth is , Chesca and Lucian were already married for two years when that accident happened .
But in my head , all I remember is the wedding .
So when I woke up in a hospital bed , I didnt understand anything .
Then my stepmother started crying and begging .

Begging me to raise my sisters child .
To marry Lucian .
To take her place .
It felt like a nightmare .
It felt like betrayal .
It felt wrong in every possible way .
So I dont blame people for calling me names .
For thinking Im some parasite who just replaced the original wife .
Because thats how it looked from the outside .
And when the gossip started , that maybe I had something to do with the accident , since I was there with her , I tried to ignore it .
I dont care if Lucian believes it or if deep down he knows the truth .
But then the rumors started to reach my son .
They poisoned his heart too .
The once loving Lorde was now distant , cold .
He began to believe the lies .
And now look at us .
This is where we are .
And honestly , I dont think well ever go back .
Not with gifts .
Not with flowers .
Not with a forced apology .
Not with a childs plea .
I cant go back to the part of me that was willing to endure everything for them .
} } That version of me no longer exists .
Not anymore .