Chapter 19 -BEA- Her hands grew numb and she fought to hold onto the spoon and plate .
Shakily , she placed them on the table and then she fell to her knees by his bed .
What must he think of me ? Im sorry Master .
Youre like this because of me because I wasnt strong enough .
Im so very sorry .
She grabbed his hand and bowed her head as the guilt spilled out of her eyes .
She hadnt always been this much of a crier , but this was one of the only times in her life that shed failed her Master , and it haunted her nightmares .
The feel of the flames melting her skin and the smell of burnt hair had overwhelmed her senses .
The look of Daxs motionless body covered in black smudges and singed clothes .
The release of the Alphas command as it road her muscles .
She could almost smell it as if it was happening right now .
So lost in that thought she jerked in surprise when Daxs fingers began to twitch .
She lifted her head and stared at his creamy hand .
Again , it twitched and began to curl before Dax lifted it and rested it on Beas head .
Turning her head , she was shocked to find him looking at her with empathy and concern .
Its okay , Bea .
I understand and I dont blame you for my condition .
How could he know ? Her true fear , spoken out loud .
She was the reason his Kingdom had lost its future Alpha and locked him to a bed for the rest of his life .
He couldnt possibly know that , yet here he was freely forgiving her .
Who was this man ? It couldnt possibly be the playboy shed seen before and had heard so much about .

His words brought on a flood and a quiet wail slipped out of her and her vision blurred .
He slowly brushed her tears with his finger and continued , What happened after that ? Grabbing a napkin from the plate , she sat back down and wiped at her face as she watched Dax move his hand back to his bed .
Hes moving more and more everyday .
I had to shove you off .
I HAD to .
Alpha Leos command pushed me and I couldnt do anything but push you .
I watched as you fell into the Gardenia hedges below .
But even then , the Alphas command pushed me to pull you from the house and away from danger .
She wiped her face again and blew her nose , quietly apologizing for her tears and impolite sniffles .
She remembered that night almost every day .
Rethinking if she had done all that she could and if all that she could was good enough .
I have a terrible fear of heights .
She laughed a little , as she remembered the butterflies that filled her throat as she looked down and prepared to jump .
I grabbed the railing and hung on until I couldnt anymore and then I fell beside you .
Her breath had burned her throat as shed sucked in the cold night air , forcing her into a coughing fit .
Once I was able to stand , I grabbed you and drug you away from the house , near the cobble wall .
Once I hit the wall and sat down , the Alphas command released me and the next thing I remember was waking up in the infirmary .
Even now , the whole side of her face was tight and still felt on fire with white hot flames .
When she first woke up after the accident and told them of her pain , they gave her pain killers and were kind to her .
Then she began explaining what happened and things turned bad from there .
They brought Master Rebecca in and when I told her what I saw she … she grew very angry with me and called me a liar .

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She told everyone in the infirmary to leave and then demanded that I tell her how I got injured .
Rebecca had grown furious with her .
Bea remembered her fear intensifying as Rebecca grew red the more of her story she heard .
When I told her of my actions I thought- She paused and touched her face .
She believed she would get so much praise for her heroic actions .
She had briefly fantasied about how she would be rewarded as they were waiting for Rebecca to originally arrive .
I thought she would praise me .
Her voice hitched a bit but she fought off the feeling .
So I was confused when she grew rather angry with me .
She slapped me and left .
No one else came by after that accept for the nurse .
Once I healed , the head Chambermaid came by , the same one who served you drinks , and she told me she gifted me to Visca and I was to pass on a message .
She felt the memory of the betrayal as it rose , once again , up her heart and into her throat .
A gift .
I find the creature too Beastly to waste my eyes on .
May you both find comfort in your traitorous presence .
And so I was given to Visca who saw me as no more than a spy for Rebecca .
She began chewing on her bottom lip , peeling the skin away to help give her the courage to look back up at Dax .
Once she did , she wished she hadnt .
He was staring at her again with a look of pure rage and his blue on blue eyes were now a bright silver , the whites completely faded away and replaced with liquid silver .
Daxs wolf was attempting to break free but instead of fur breaking out across his skin , it was just his eyes .

The whites , coming back briefly only to once again bleed into the moving silver .
1/2 Chapter 19 He said nothing to her , just stared as his eyes warred with each other .
Master Dax ? His eyes locked with hers and the silver bled away completely , and his beautiful blue eyes were boring into hers .
Yet, he said nothing .
Just stared .
I really AM Beastly .
I think I understand .
Im sorry .
Standing , she grabbed the tray and left the room .
She was unsure of what to do that night .
Was her place still here at Daxs side ? Should she have not said anything ? No , she didnt feel like she should have stayed silent .
What happened that night was something that happened TOO him .
He had every right to know .
She tried sleeping but was too restless .
Instead , she completed the blanket shed been working on and eventually fell into a fitful sleep only to wake just after dawn .
Being unable to fall back asleep , she got up earlier than normal and prepared Daxs breakfast .
Still unsure of herself , she took a moment to stand outside his doors .
One breath .
Two breaths .
And then nodding to the doormen , she made her way into his rooms only to find David , the Steward , leaning over Daxs body and poking him with some kind of metal tool .