Chapter 19: The Day I Screamed May 8, 2025 I shouldve known the moment I walked into school that I was in trouble.
Erin spotted me first.
Her eyes narrowed, then flicked to Willow and Maisy as if they were syncing their thoughts through some telepathic girl network.
By the time I sat down at our table, all three of them were staring at me like I was a bomb they were too curious to defuse.
Youre glowing, Maisy said.
I froze mid-sip of my orange juice.
No, Im not.
Erin leaned in.
Did you hook up with someone? Willow arched a brow.
Because last night you were going to the library and now youre floating like you got laid and kissed by a Greek god.
I choked.
Wow.
Specific.
Lily, Erin said, tone firm but not unkind.
We love you.
But youre lying to us.
I blinked at her, suddenly too aware of my heartbeat.
Im not lying, I said.
Willow gave me a look.
Youre hiding.
Big difference.
I looked between them the worry, the curiosity, theneed to understand .
And all I could say was, Ill tell you when Im ready.
Maisy groaned.
Ugh! Youre killing us.
I promise, I added.
Just… not yet.
They sighed in unison but let it go.
Sort of.
My phone buzzed under the table.
I pulled it out.
Jake: Were doing it.
Attached was a photo of a 10K run poster.Community Charity Sprint this Sunday.
Jake: Already signed us up.
Ill pick you up at 6 a.m.
No backing out.
I snorted.6 a.m.
? He was deranged.
I smiled down at my phone, but thats when Willow tried to peek.
Whos texting you? I yanked my phone away.
No one.
Willow gasped.
Youre blushing.

Younever blush.
I stood up.
I gotta go.
Lily! Class, I called over my shoulder.
Love you, bye! I was halfway to my first period when my phone rang.
Mom.
My stomach dropped.
I answered.
Hi Where were you last Thursday at 5:15? My blood ran cold.
Iwhat? You missed your piano lesson.
I And your Spanish tutoring.
And dont lie, Lily.
I checked with both instructors.
Mom What is going on with you? I justneeded a break.
A break? You dont get to take breaks from your future.
Im just If you skip one more class, she snapped, I will take your phone.
I will pull you from that friend group.
I will cancel your entire weekend.
Do you understand me? Yes, I whispered.
But I didnt mean it.
Because something inside me wassnapping .
I didnt go to class.
I walked right out of the building, barely hearing the bell over the buzz in my head.
I took the train to downtown, heart in my throat, the city a blur outside the window.
Then I called Jake.
He answered on the second ring.
Hey.
Im gonna do it.
Silence.
Then, Youre going to her office? Im outside now.
Do it, Lily.
Im shaking.
You should be.
But do it anyway.
I closed my eyes, gripping the phone tighter.
What if she hates me? She wont.
And if she does, shell get over it.
Youre not a robot.
You dont belong to her.
I exhaled slowly.
Stay on the line? Im here.
I marched into the building like I was wearing armor every step heavier than the last.
I didnt hesitate when I crossed the marble lobby, didnt falter when I jabbed the elevator button, even though my stomach twisted itself into a thousand knots.
The ride to the tenth floor felt like it took years, even though the numbers blinked up fast enough.

Follow new episodes on the CrushnovelS.Com

When the doors opened, the familiar receptionist smiled at me warmly, like I wasnt about to set fire to the life Id been performing for eighteen years.
Shes just finishing a call, she said, nodding toward the closed office door.
I nodded back, unable to form words, my heart slamming against my ribs like it was trying to find an escape route.
I barely breathed while I watched the little light on my moms office phone blink steadily.
When the blinking stopped, when the door clicked open a crack, I didnt knock.
I didnt ask.
I stormed in, the way a storm enters a room sudden, loud, unstoppable.
Mom looked up from her desk, a slight crease of confusion knitting her brows.
Lily? I didnt answer her greeting.
I crossed the room in three strides and slammed my palms onto her polished desk, making a few papers flutter in protest.
I hate it, I said, my voice cutting across the room like a blade.
Her confusion deepened into something sharper.
Excuse me? I hate it, Mom.
The piano lessons.
The endless Spanish tutoring.
The college prep courses.
The internships.
The pressure.
All of it.
She straightened her shoulders, voice going cold.
Lily No, I cut her off before she could turn this into another lecture.
Ive done everything you asked for eighteen years.
I got straight As.
I smiled when you paraded me in front of your friends.
I joined the right clubs.
I made the friends you approved of.
I dated the boy who looked good on paper.
I did everything right.
Her mouth tightened.
Watch your tone.
I felt the tremor rising in my chest, but I didnt let it control me.
I pushed forward.
No.
You dont get to cut me off this time.
Not today.
She stood then, slow and deliberate, trying to tower over me like she always had.
Youre being dramatic.
I met her stare without flinching.
No.
Im being honest.
Her jaw set.
Youre lucky, Lily.
Do you know how many girls would kill for the opportunities you have? Im not lucky, I said, my throat burning.
Im drowning.

I cant breathe under the weight of all the things you think I should want.
The words hung between us, dense and ugly and true.
Her eyes, once so sharp with certainty, flickered for a moment.
Like maybe she saw it the truth that didnt fit into her carefully constructed version of me.
I dont want to be a lawyer.
I dont want to live your idea of perfect.
I want to livemy life.
I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing back the hot sting of tears.
I wasnt going to cry here.
I wasnt going to give her that.
She stared at me like I was someone she couldnt recognize, someone she hadnt raised.
And maybe she hadnt.
Maybe for the first time, she was seeing me the real me, not the polished version she paraded at fundraisers and galas.
I lowered my voice, almost a whisper.
Do you even know who I am? The silence stretched, heavy and awkward.
She didnt rush to answer.
She didnt throw words at me like she usually did to fill the gaps.
Finally, she sank back down into her chair, some of the steel draining from her posture.
Her hands folded tightly in front of her.
I know Im hard on you, she said after a long moment.
I know.
But its only because I want you to succeed.
My throat tightened, but I forced the words out anyway.
Cant I define what that looks like? For myself? She looked down at her hands, at the polished wood of her desk.
She didnt have a quick response for that.
Maybe she didnt know how.
Im not asking you to fix anything, I said, my voice steady now, stronger.
Im asking you to let me breathe.
I didnt wait for her to argue.
I turned on shaking legs and walked out of her office, each step lighter than the last, even as my heart pounded like it might tear through my chest.
In the elevator, I pressed my forehead against the cool metal of the wall, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, again and again, until I felt like I could stand upright without falling apart.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and when I glanced down, I saw Jakes name lighting up the screen.
I swiped to answer.
My voice wobbled when I said, Hey.
Lily? His voice was low, steady.
The sound of it grounded me instantly.
You okay? I closed my eyes.
Let the moment settle.
I did it.
There was a pause, and then his voice, full of quiet certainty: Of course you did.
And standing there, with my heart hammering and my whole world shifting beneath me, I realized something.
For the first time in a very long time, I didnt feel scared.
I felt free.