I pushed Jason away , kneeling and begging him in the same manner hed begged me .
I wont go to the landfill again , I swear , I swear ! I pulled at his sleeve and smiled .
Jason , Jason , believe me , I wont go , please forgive < me , dont send anyone to help me , I know , the landfill is dangerous .
Jasons tears threatened to fall again .
He remembered the past five years , before the misunderstandings and torture .
I used to cling to him and act cute .
I worked hard in design , often working late and missing dates .
Jason would get angry , and Id plead for forgiveness , promising not to miss another date , calling his name , begging for his mercy .
Jason thought it was all an act , that missing dates didnt matter , but hed pretend to be angry to control me .
But seeing those puppy dog eyes , hed become angry yet reluctant to scold me .
When had those pitiful calls found their way into his heart ? Jason lifted his head , wiping his tears , then took my hand Jason lifted his head , wiping his tears , then took my hand .
We wont go to the landfill .
I didnt throw your mothers ashes away ; I buried them at the cemetery .
I stared at him , confused , my eyes reddening .
Youre lying , why would you lie ? I said I wouldnt go to the landfill .
Jason avoided my gaze .
Why ? he thought .
It was his malice , his inability to let me go or overcome the issue with my mother and his sister .
He thought if I stopped thinking about my mother , he could be at peace .
But seeing me calling for my mother in my sleep , he couldnt bear it and buried her .
As long as I didnt know , it would be fine .
Jasons voice was strained .
Im not lying .
Its in the plot you chose , Ill take you there .
< At the cemetery , I didnt know how to react .
My brain was still processing everything .
Seeing my mothers familiar , gentle smile on the headstone , I sobbed uncontrollably .
It was like childhood , crying to my mother after being bullied .
Mom , I hurt so much .
Mommy , why dont you come to my dreams and hug me ? Hug me , and it wont hurt anymore .
Jason watched from afar as I pressed my face against the headstone .
He felt my tears in his heart .
Each word of pain felt like a needle , piercing his heart repeatedly , almost suffocating him .
He wondered if by suffering the pain himself , Id hurt less .
When I cried myself out , I looked at Jason .
You buried my mother .
What other atonement do you think I need ? < My question was sincere , and Jason offered a sad smile .
I spent a long time recovering in the hospital .

My wounds almost healed , but my habits remained .
I couldnt refuse .
At every meal , I buried my face in my food .
Whenever Jason lifted his hand , I thought hed stab me , and Id offer my thigh .
Each time , his face crumbled .
He could only comfort me repeatedly .
Sherry , no one will hurt you , they hurt me too .
I swear , youre safe .
He stayed outside my room at night , listening to my pained cries and nightmares .
He would bite his lip and cry silently .
He got me a therapist .
I couldnt refuse , so I complied .
But instead of a therapist , Jasons sister came into my room , pushing a wheelchair .
Seeing her , my heart pounded .
I feared shed scold and resent my mother .
My mind went blank .
I covered my head .
Im sorry , if its true , I apologize on behalf of my mother .
It was my fault , my fault .
Before she could speak , Jason entered , soothingly patting my back .
Sherry , its not your fault .
You dont need to apologize .
Vivian looked at us , her expression complicated .
Brother , what did you do to her ? Why is she like this ? Sister in law , dont be nervous .
Actually , everything … Jason interrupted her .
Vivian , dont say it ! He begged Vivian , Brother , please dont say it , dont say it .
Vivians expression was complex , but seeing her brothers state , she remained silent and left .
Seeing Vivian , the victim , my nightmares .
intensified .
If my mother was the perpetrator , how could I bear the victims anger and resentment ? In my dreams , Vivian and Jason surrounded me , cursing my mother , saying she deserved to die , condemning me to eternal suffering .
I couldnt sleep .
My mind was a jumbled mess .
I decided to take a bath .
I forgot to turn off the water and fell asleep in the tub .
The water rose to my nose and mouth , yet I felt little discomfort .
Until Jason frantically pulled me out .
Sherry , what are you doing ?! I shrank back , apologizing .
Im sorry , I really am .

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I wanted to bathe , but I < forgot to turn off the water .
I didnt mean to , please dont hit me .
Jasons tense hands fell , and I pulled at his pajamas and begged .
I had a nightmare , I dreamt about my mother , she wasnt like that ! Please , investigate her former students ; they must know .
Please , please .
Jason couldnt meet my gaze .
He already knew the truth but couldnt tell me .
He knew that telling me would end everything .
He was selfish , terrified of revealing the truth .
Since his sisters visit , hed been terrified , haunted by the image of me knowing the truth .
But seeing my pleading gaze , he painfully nodded .
Okay .
.
I thanked him profusely .
But Jasons face grew more pained < Duɩ DUL Jason s race grew more paineu .
I questioned him daily , but got no answers .
I started doubting if my mother had done something , even though she was a good mother in my heart .
I grew despairing and lost my appetite .
I became emaciated .
Jason wasnt doing much better .
He was worried but couldnt tell me the truth .
His anxiety consumed him until he avoided a sharp turn while driving .
He got in a car accident and broke his leg .
He had a cast and had to work from home , his gaze constantly on me .
I was irritated by his stare .
I thought he was wondering how I could atone .
But I didnt know how .
I wondered what to do .
I wished I could ask my mom .
Mem Mom .
Mom , tell me .
I kept thinking it , and I seemed to see my mother .
She smiled gently .
My dear , are you facing a problem? Tell your mommy .
I instinctively walked towards her .
But a heart wrenching cry stopped me .
Sherry ! A force pushed me to the ground .
When I came to , my mother was gone .

It was the third floor balcony .
Jason had pushed me too hard and fell himself .
He lay on the grass , unconscious or awake .
Jason was hospitalized .
The fall had caused a concussion and worsened his leg injury .
Doctors said hed have lasting effects .
His right leg might never fully recover .
く I nervously chewed my nails .
Im sorry , I didnt mean to .
I saw my mother , I wanted to ask her if it was true , how to apologize to you .
Dont be angry , you can hit me to vent .
Jason offered a pained smile .
He couldnt bear to see me like this .
Hed hurt me so much .
He deserved to die .
Sherry , lets divorce .
Your mother never hurt my sister .
She told me everything .
I just didnt tell you .
I stopped chewing my nails .
When I understood , my body went limp .
Jason , youre not lying , are you ? Jason shed a few tears , his lips opening and closing , but no words came out .
His sister appeared .
Sherry , its true .
Your mother never hurt me .
I was sick and confused things , and involved you .
< His sister appeared .
Sherry , its true .
Your mother never hurt me .
I was sick and confused things , and involved you .
I covered my face , gasping for air .
Okay , Jason .
We should never see each other again .
I left the room , leaving only his heartbroken gasps behind .
Jason stared at where Id been .
He wanted to vomit , to scream , but he couldnt .
On a warm summer day , his lover vanished .
His summer was gone forever .
[ The End ]