Chapter39 Ihadnochoicebuttoputsomesoupin mymouth.BeforeIcoulddrinksit,thefishystenchmademystomachchurn.Iquicklyrantothebathroomandthrewup.
Whyareyoustillthrowingup?Helookedatmesuspiciously.
Itsprobablybecause Idrankyesterday.Plus,ImnotusedtothesmellofmulletssinceIwasyoung,So...Iexplainedwithguiltinthetoneofmyvoice.
Hisbodystiffenedup:perhapsrecallinglastnightsincident.
IthoughtabouthowthiswasthefirsttimeTheohadcookedforme,soIclosedmyeyesandforcedmyselftodrinkupthefishsoup.
Youdonothavetodrinkitifyoudonotwantto.Iwillmakeanotheroneforyou.Hereachedouttotalethesoupbowlandpourthepotofsoupintothesink Iamsorry.IfeltguiltyasIknewthathiehadmeantwell Itismyfault.Ididnotknowyoudidnotlikefishsoup.Hisfacewasplacid.Hisvoicewasflatandapologetic.
Ihadanindescribablefeelinginmyheart.Afterwhathappenedyesterdayandtoday,hedidntseemascold asheusedtobe.

Hewentbackintothekitchenandmadeabowlofporridge.Yourstomachisprobablyfeelinguncomfortableafteryesterdaysdrinking,hesaidsoftly.Eat this.
Hethenlookedatmeandsaidindifferently,Youcanrestathometoday.Iwilltakecare ofthecompany.Youhavecausedthecompanytolosealotofmoney.Thinkabouthowyoucanmakeupforit! LA T Heturnedaroundandleftafterspeaking.
Hisattitudetowardmehadindeedchanged.Whendid itstartto change?WasitafterhefoundoutthatIwaspregnantorafterIabortedthechild? Iwaslostinmythoughts,evenwhenMasonarrived.
andfrowned.ThechildisgrowingYoushouldeatsomethingnutritiousorthebabysdevelopmentwillbeaffected.
ItwasonlythenthatIcamebacktomysensesandgotupquickly.DoctorLynch,yourehere.
Heshowedabagofmedicineinhishandandsiid,Iamheretodeliversomeherbalmedicine.Youcannottakepillsfornow.Youmust remembertodrinkthisherbalmedicine.Pleasedonotdrinkanymorealcoholinthefuture.Itwillaffectthefetus.
Thankyou.Itooktheherbalmedicineandthankedhimsincerely.

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Youwillnotbeabletoleaveanytimesooninyourcurrentstate.Youshouldcomebythehospitalanotherday.Aftergivinghisinstructions,hegotuptoleave.Justashereachedforthedoor,hepausedandturnedtome.Youshould letTheoknow.Helikeschildren,sohewillnotmakethingsdifficultforyou.
IunderstoodwhatMasonmeant.Thatnight,Ivaguelyheardhimsay,Ihavetosacrificeone.IfTheowantedtokeepthechildandme,hewouldhavetosacrificeCindy AlthoughIwasnotveryclearabouttherelationshipbetweenCindyandTheo,Iknewthathenotonlylovedherbut wasresponsibleforher.
IlookedatMasonandsaidsoftly,HewouldnotleaveMissReed.
Ifyoulovehim,thenyouhavetotrusthim.Trusthimtohaveawaytobalancethiskindofrelationshipwhilekeepingyouandyourchildsafe.After sayingthat,heopenedthedoorandleftbeforeIcouldrespond HowcouldTheobalanceit?BylettingusstayinthevillaasusualandleaveuswheneverCindycallsforhim?Icantoleratethosedaysbymyself.Idonotwantmychildtosuffer.
Hehadnoloveleftforme.Inthepast,Grandmotherhadforcedhimtoacceptmie.Hehadtolivewithmeforthreeyears.IfIhadusedthebabytothreatenhimagain,Icouldprobablystay.Buthowlongwouldthislast? Perhapshewouldgiveininitially,butastimepassed,hewouldgettiredofit.
Iloweredmyheadandtouchedmybelly.IwouldraisethischildaloneandIwould givehimabrightandtealthyenvironment LeavingThewouldbethewisestchoice! Thefoodhadturnedcolc.anddespitemylackofappetite,Iateital.
Who wastheyoungladyinthephoto? Seeinghowclosetheywere,theymustbecloserelativesorsomething.Ididnotthinktoomuchaboutitandcontinuedflippingthroughthephotos, Thephotoswerearrangedbyage.Afterthebabyphotos,itwaswhenTheowenttoschool.Apartfromhimself,Grandmother,Mason,andZeddwouldoccasionallyappearinsomeofthepicturestoo.Hisparentswouldhavepassedawaybythen Furtherdownthealbum,itwasprobablyduringmiddleschoolwhenCindyappearedinthepictures, Theirappearanceshadnotchangedmuch.Theyhadwellchiselledfeaturessinc

eyoungandwerestillveryrecognizable.Now,theyhadshedtheimmaturityoftheiryouthandbecamemoremature.
Manyphotosshowed thatCindygrewupundertheircare.
Shewasreallyhappy! Afterlookingatthephotos,Ifeltalittledepressed.NowonderTheosbrothersdislikedmesomuch.EvenCindyhatedme.Iwaslikeaninvaderwhosuddenlybargedintotheirterritoryandbrokeuptheirrelationship Thatyear,ifmymotherhadnotmetwithanaccidentandaskedmetolookforGrandmotherbeforeshepassedon,IwouldnothaveencounteredtheGrantfamilyfortherestofmylife.
Foralongtime,IhadneverwonderedhowmymotherknewGrandmother.AvillagewomanlikemymothercouldnothaveanyinteractionswithafamilyliketheGrantfamily,1 ThestrangethingwasthatafterGrandmotherreadmymothersletter,notonlydidshetakemein,sheevenforcedTheotomarryme Itwasunderstandablethat theGrantfamilywouldhateme.
Therewasnopointthinkingaboutthepastnow.IcouldnotfigureitoutevenifIwantedto.Isighedandgotuptoleavethestudy Ifeltdizzyandweak,soIwenttosleep.
Isleptsoundlythroughthenight.
WhenIopenedmyeyes,Isawatallandimposingfigurebesidemybed.