Chapter 38 My tone was so twisted , so calm in its defiance , that Tristan stood there , stunned for several seconds .
Winda , are you insane ? Do you want to die that badly ? } He suddenly flung the bottle of pills to the floor , his voice raw with fury , jaw clenched tight .
You want to die ? Fine .
But I wont let you .
He froze after the outburst , as if even he couldnt believe what had just come out of his mouth .
He hadnt been this angry in years .
He was Tristan he wasnt supposed to lose his composure like this .
With a bitter scoff , he loosened his tie and sat down , his expression cold and unreadable .
} Stop throwing tantrums .
@ Youre not going to die .
Weve checked everything and we still dont know whats wrong with you .
I recently acquired a lab .
Theyll draw some blood figure it out .
Maybe … maybe we can use it for the baby in Dianas belly … Before he could finish , I silently rolled up my sleeve and offered my arm .
Go ahead .
Draw it .
The more , the better .
His chest tightened inexplicably .
But But he had already promised Diana he would uncover the secret in me for the sake of their child .
So he swallowed whatever discomfort twisted inside him and called the doctor .

The needle was thick , nearly the width of a babys finger and plunged deep into my vein .
I didnt tell Tristan the truth .
From the first time I died for him , I knew I could only die one hundred times .
} And once Ive died in his hands a hundred times , my karmic punishment will be complete .
} Then Id disappear gone to a place no one can find .
From then on , I would no longer belong to love .
To humanity .
To anyone .
Tristans phone rang .
He answered without looking at me .
Ill pick you up tomorrow and take you to the lab .
} The doctor hesitated mid motion .
Mr.
Jagger , with Madams current condition … she really needs rest .
> Tristan paused , then answered tersely .
} She wont die .
} The doctor broke into a cold sweat and dared not speak again .
But the next day and the one after that , Tristan didnt come .
Instead , the joint account we shared lit up with transaction notifications .
Couples down jackets .

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Thermal winter sets .
Wool socks .
A sled .
Unbidden , a memory surfaced .
Once , we had gone to Antarctica together .
Somehow , Diana found out and followed us all the way there dressed only in a thin sweater , her body trembling , lips blue with cold.§ Like a madman , Tristan threw his coat over her shoulders .
Then , as if that wasnt enough , he stripped the coat off my back and gave her that too .
Diana sobbed in his arms .
She then her sho Winda didnt want me to come … she threw away all my clothes .
But Tristan , I just wanted to see the penguins with you .
He glared at me , full of scom .
Youre jealous .
Poisonous .
Vicious .
} * Fine .
Taste for yourself what its like to freeze to death in Antarctica .
} Then they left me behind .
I died there , in nothing but a single layer of clothing .
Snapping out of the memory , I quietly ordered a pair of couples snow goggles for them .
Then I canceled the joint account with Tristan .

A short while later , he sent me a message .
[ Just one symbol ? ] I didnt respond .
Soon after , I heard the sound of familiar footsteps outside my door .
Pack up .
Were going to the lab .
} } I lowered my eyes and quietly stood .
From behind him , Diana stepped forward , her smile sweet but sickening .
Winda , it mustve been so hard for you , giving so much blood for the baby .
But if the tests dont yield results … we might need your help again .
Youre not going to die anyway .
Winda , maybe you could even lie on the operating table and let us deconstruct you .
For Tristans child , of course .
Alright , I said calmly .
Without hesitation .
Tristans expression darkened .
His voice was cold.§ Well talk about that later .
> A flicker of jealousy crossed Dianas face but it vanished in an instant .
The three of us got into the car .
Tristan turned on the music .
The silence between us was louder than any song .
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